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Friday, July 31, 2009

Private Detectives, Zubbles and Mothering

1. Would it be too wierd if I sit outside my daughter's school with binoculars and a telephoto lens?
How about ordering a background track on her teacher and having the woman tailed throughout the school year?
I haven't hired anyone yet or anything just mulling it over. Thoughts? Reprimands? Reference for a great private investigator?

2. Since when did being a mother stop being enough? The other day a fellow mom asked what I did. When I told her I stayed at home raising my daughters she said, "Oh, you're unemployed". What do you say to that? It doesn't matter. I might have to get a job that pays more and has less demanding hours so I can afford that private detective and devote more time stalking my own children anyways.

3. Toy inventor Tim Kehoe
has burst my Zubble. I ordered my Zubbles before the The Zubble People
realized, "OH CRAP! People are willing to pay over seven bucks a bottle for colored bubbles! We better make more". Now they are back ordered. No worries Mr. Zubble a child's patience is limitless. She completely understands.
*In the Zubble Master's defense I must say he did devote fourteen years of his life to a vibrant bubble that doesn't stain. Shouldn't that be enough?
4. So. It looks like I am still waiting for a male scientist to invent something so speculator it redeems the entire male population for the invention of the speculum. Why is that little medieval torture device still around. Anything with a crank has no business being near my "business".

That sums up my random Friday Fragments for today. So just gather your crumbs of wisdom, toss them together and click below to join in.....
Half-Past Kissin' Time

And introducing another host of random Friday fun...

OrdinaryAndAwesome.com is the Chronicles of My Ordinary and Awesome Life, Family, and Thoughts. OrdinaryAndAwesome.com is the Mostly Wordless Wednesday headquarters as well as the home to several original awards and memes.


Sara Elizabeth said...

Great post, but I want to specifically reply to #2.

I cannot believe that someone would say something so tacky. Who says things lke that!? I find it insulting and sad, and I am not even a mom. I work from home full-time, and I often get the same types of reactions, though. I just don't get it. I am working more and harder now from home than I EVER did at any other job. Yet somehow women who work outside of the home often react to my working from home as if it is a vacation. LOL. Argh! So annoying. Sorry for the rant. Needless to say, I totally understand how you felt when she said that.

Dreamgirl said...

Oh... you crack me up! How funny your random thought are! (I also enjoyed picturing you with that "will work for botox" sign - priceless...)

Now a solution to number one and two: You'll start working as the private investigator! Solves two of your problems: employment and spying on your kids. I'm sure you can spy on some other kids while you are parked outside the school too... and their parents may pay you! Am I a genius or what!
(You might run into a few problems with law enforcement sitting in a parked car with binoculars outside a school - but no pain no gain!)

Colored bubbles? MUST HAVE!

That silver thingamajig should have been tested on male doctors... then we would quickly see a new invention: "the painless-featherlike-silkysoft-can'thardlyfeelit-supercareful-nonobtrusive-verygentle-device"

I hope you have a fabulous Friday!

The Rambler said...

Sometimes I want to just smack people that tell stay at home moms that not having a paying 'gig' means they do NOTHING. Bastards. Really. I work, but sometimes going to the paying gig is a break from the real hard gig (but that I absolutely LOVE).

And, um...no get a private investigator and if you need company to spy on the classroom I'm there :)

Cause of course I'd expect the same in return when it's my turn.

Love Love!

michelle said...

OK. So I think YOU should invent a wonderful, "business" friendly substitute for the speculum (which would make us ALL so happy, I'm sure), then whack that fellow mom lady over the head with it.
Too funny about stalking your kids at school.

Wonderful World of Weiners said...

Those that mock SAHMs are jealous.


Lori said...

A stay at home mom is not unemployed! Her employers are fussy, whiney, (sometimes) dirty and demand her attention 24/7. What an insensitive and obviously uninformed person to say such a thing to you!

Save your private investigator money for the dating years...that's just my two cents!

noexcuses said...

I've been stalking my kids for decades. I joined Facebook so I could follow them and spy on their conversations! One of my sons will not be my friend for that reason alone. "Mom, I live with you and see you all the time. If I want you to know what's going on, I'll tell you." Okay (sniff, sniff) son!

I think that moms who raise kids while working in or out of the house are just as exhausted as moms who work raising their children. Unfortunately and unfairly, it's about money when it comes to the value of work...even a job outside of the home is not taken seriously if the earnings are less than the breadwinner's salary. I've lived with that all my life!

I think the payoff comes later in life when you watch that little ball of joy leave for his or her first prom, or walk up to the stage to get his or her college diploma. Maybe its bringing home his or her first "real job" paycheck, or, when you see the joyful tears of that child when he or she becomes a parent for the first time!

It's not immediate gratification like chocolate, or a good wine, but I think the memories become etched in our minds in a place where we can recall it over and over. One can't put a dollar value on that one!

You are a great mom who is cherishing her children the way all children (and adults) should be cherished...with reckless abandon!

(Sorry for the novel!) Great post!

Unknown said...

LOL@#1 I have been there
#2 OMGosh seriously we have the hardest job EVER and get the best pay...hugs N kisses

Loved your FF

Mrs4444 said...

No, you aren't getting a typical paycheck, and you still get "taxed," but you'll never be laid off, so you've got that going for you! Plus, you'll always be Employee of the Month!

And Yes, I'm in line with you for the newly-designed speculum!

JennyMac said...

Unemployed? Yes, it is merely a facade for drinking all day and giving yourself manicures. Another mom said this to you? Again, proving any idiot can join the community of Motherhood.

The Blonde Duck said...

"Anyone with a crank has no buisness near my buisness."

Favorite quote of the day.

And your job is the hardest. She's just a bitter old hag.

Anonymous said...

all you had to say to her was "Well, the job that pays to be a bitch was already taken. Bitch." Or not. I honestly have yet to have someone say that to me.
Or, you could have said "I had wanted to be your shusband's mistress, but he's already paying your neighbor for that." Ok, I'm just teasing, it's all in fun.
Until the day she says it to me.

Laura Marchant said...

Colored bubbles? Do they stain?

SugarandSpice said...

Being a mother is all the world is really about! Do not let people make you think otherwise. I am not a SAHM because of my past and the fact that I am still trying to make up for it. In other words... that means I cannot afford to be a SAHM. But I long for the day I can. I do work in the corporate world and let me tell you what I am jealous of mothers like you. Mothers that get to be home when their children get home from school! I have done both and staying home is just as hard...if not harder than jobs out of the home! I do not know how nice you are in real life but I probably would not have been as nice to that person! You will look back in 20 years from now with no regrets because you will have been there for your children!

Anonymous said...

When someone asks what I do, I tell them I'm "Manager of SmallProduct Development at (last name goes here Industries."

I have so enjoyed your blog since I've been doing this for the past 3 months. I love your mother stories and the amazing visuals that make up your blog.

I have a lovely blog award for you over at my site. I hope you'll think of it as a hug of encouragement: http://bluecottonmemory.wordpress.com/2009/08/01/%e2%99%a5-a-beautiful-blog-hug/

Mammatalk said...

Ouch! Unemployed is not a word that should be used to describe a SAHM!

Anonymous said...

What?? I can't believe she said 'oh you're unemployed'. How rude!!!!!!!

Putting the FUN in DysFUNctional said...

Unemployed? I think I would've lost it on her. What a dumbass.