I will continue to celebrate motherhood. So if breasts, birth, dilation and mother's milk makes you uncomfortable please consider yourself warned.
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Monday, December 8, 2008

The Kegel Flunky, Not me

My New Year's Resolution is NOT to simply master my bodily functions. I am a grown woman, master of all, who does NOT spring leaks of ANY kind. Therefore, my resolution will be grand and of epic proportions, awe inspiring. My New Year's Resolution will NOT simply be to stop peeing on myself every time I sneeze. After all, I do NOT do that.
The featured print by artist, Nicole Sharp, did NOT remind me of myself. When I read the description,
"Just call me Betty f@#%ing Crocker..".
I did NOT laugh so hard I nearly peed my pants. Please remember I am above that. Besides not having control of my bladder would make blogging dangerous. I would have to avoid funny posts altogether or risk electrocution. I am NOT so addicted to blogs like Secrets in the Sauce and Idabel Oklahoma that I am actually willing to risk electrocution.
Join in on not me Monday by clicking here..

You can find Nicole on Etsy at
The great news is she says, "I love to do trades - just convo me. The worst I ever say is no (and I usually don't say that), and even then I say it nicely. I am interested in jewelry, home goods, zines, felt objects, little girl's clothes, toys, art, and just about everything else. I hope to hear from you!". I love that!! Her work is fun and gorgeous. I hope you visit her shop because it was so hard for me to choose just two. Or just blog on over and tell her how amazing she is..


Danyele Easterhaus said...

i have total etsy *love*! thanks so much for ur comments...what a great memory of your dad! thanks for stopping by my blog today!

♥Jacqueline said...

Goodness, the things we need to learn to prevent accidents from occurring. The brighter side, all women out there have or should learn this "wonderful" technique. Well, til then, we may just have to call you sparky. LOL J/K. Hope you're having a good day. ;o)

Amy @ Cheeky Cocoa Beans said...

After 3 kids, all I can say is "Um, yeah...not me, too!" ;) Risking electrocution...too funny!!

momstheword said...

About your comment: So that's why capris were created, lol! Loved the comment about risking being electrocuted!!

Sarah said...

LOL!!! I lied every time my midwife asked if I was dutiflly doing my kegels...I should have listened to her!

Decor To Adore said...

What great art. Particularly the tiger. I am still smiling.

Mother Letter said...

This site has been one of the real scores of the MLP. I 'aint no woman, but I laugh ridiculously hard every time I come over here.

heidi said...

Oh my word - this made me LOL!!!

I am finally making rounds from WFMW from before Tday. EEP! Thanks for stopping by my blog!!

Krystyn @ Really, Are You Serious? said...

I am so with you! I would like to reclaim my body, too!

WheresMyAngels said...

What you dribble? Not me, no way, no how! I just keep sitting in little spots of spilled water.