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Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Two Cents: Daddy Magic

What makes a good father? Is there a Daddy checklist? Is it me or is there less pressure on men to be good fathers than there is on women to be good mothers? Do we do it to ourselves? Can bad husbands be good fathers?
I would love it if you would share your Two Cents. This month I'm going to try something a little different. Instead of signing Mr. Linky let me know about your two cents post in the comment section. I will highlight my favorite two cents posts throughout the entire month so feel free to jump in anytime. For a complete list of details and FAQ on Two Cents just Click Here
My husband knows that there is a good chance our girls will either marry a man just like him or become him. Their relationships will be modeled after how we treat one another. He doesn't try to separate being a good husband from being a good father. He knows that part of being a good father is being a good husband. I adore that. I don't think you have to be a great husband to be a great father but I do believe that you have to treat the people in your life with respect and apologize when you make mistakes.
We are not perfect. We still fight and there are times we forget to treat each other with dignity and respect but he has mastered the apology. I am still learning. Some men are natural fathers. There are men who rock the diaper tool belt and deserve gold medals for their "scoop and tickle". My husband is not that kind of father. He makes a conscious effort and is always learning. He dresses the baby in her sister's clothes, backwards. He feeds them candy and bagels for dinner. He curls up on the couch for some "Jurassic Park" bonding with his princess divas. He stumbles from bed and cuddles them after their dinosaur induced nightmares. He wakes up with toy indentions in his back and grumpy eyes. Sometimes I say, "I told you so" and sometimes I say,
"Don't do that" but most of the time I say, "Thank You". It means so much to me that he works so hard. I know it doesn't come easy for him. Loving our daughters is effortless but fathering them takes work. My two cents is that sometimes love really is enough. It doesn't hurt to put all your theories on parenting aside and occasionally give trial and error a chance to work some magic.


Unknown said...

i agree that the same qualities that make a man a good husband also make him a good father and i think the way you can gauge how a man will be at either is in how he treats his mother, his sisters and the other women in his family. i knew my beloved would be a good hubby when i saw how much he loves his mother and how kind he is to her, despite the fact she drives him crazy.

Amy said...

I think this is a great post. I will join in again next month. I am away from my home and with my Mom. I think you are right about being a Dad and husband are two different things. My husband is a wonderful father and a great husband. But like you said it all takes work and we are still learning. Have a great day.

The Blonde Duck said...

What a wonderful post. It's so true!

Laura Marchant said...

Very true. Sometimes you just have to put all the parenting books away and just let life happen with the kids.

Marla said...

so however did you come across me with our matching themed posts :)

thanks again for stopping by

Putting the FUN in DysFUNctional said...

I think it's all about time. Time spent truly with the kid (not just in the same room), and listening to the kid.

Chrissy Thomas said...

Fantastic blog. I agree completely that my daughter is going to grow up and either marry a man just like her daddy or become him, case in point me. I am both. lol. I am exactly my father and I married a man just like him. oi. Things are fun in our house!

Thanks for stopping by my blog!

Idabel Oklahoma said...

Ditto Dysfunctinal Mom!
Daddy Magic = Daddy Time
A good daddy spends time with his kids. Family time and one on one time. How can a father get to know his child unless he spends time with the child.

Two Pretty Little Skirts said...

Stopping by to say howdy and thanks for coming over to see me!
Following your beautiful blog!!!
Have a wonderful day ;)


Robbie S. Redmon, LPC said...

Hi there, thanks for stopping by during my give-a-way. The marital coaching session is optional. Thanks for agreeing to spread the word. I love your site! BTW you asked about my birthday...It's September 16th.

ch said...

Great post!

I have to say, my two boys have a great Daddy. What makes him great?
Like you have said, It's the time spent together that makes all the difference. I know my boys will grow up to be good men because of their dad. He teaches them through example and instruction.
He is also a good husband. This is not a perfect picture though, nothing is. It all takes hard work and yes, definitely trial and error. We are all still just works in progress:)

BrnEyedGal said...

I dont think you could have said it any better really.
I just believe in mutual respect and of course common sense when it comes to taking care of a child....LOL.
Great post!

Keeper of the Skies Wife said...

Wonderful post!!!

here from SITS!!

Unknown said...

What a great post. Stopping by from SITS to leave some bloggy love!

Dumb Mom said...

No daughters here, but I'm certain that my boys will grow to be very much like their father who is a great dad and husband (mostly!). So glad I stopped by your blog today from SITS:)

Unknown said...

Wow....what a question!! I want to think on that one awhile lol...This is an awesome post...and my honey sometimes tries to feed our kids candy for dinner too lol...well...on Saturday mornings anyway....glad I stopped in from SITS to see what ur blog was all about!!

Midlife, menopause, mistakes and random stuff... said...

Oh, I so love this lovely girl!! I couldn't agree more.......L~O~V~E!!
Unconditional love....... You can't love your children too much :)
Hope your weekend is filled with mych love, joy and laughter darling and........

Steady On
Reggie Girl

Anonymous said...

My husband is scared about becoming a father. He feels that he wasn't shown the right way to be a dad, by his dad and he's afraid he will mess up.

I say being a daddy isn't about what you mess up on, cause your gonna mess up.. It's about all the little times in between.

He's gonna be such a good poppa. I just wish I could make him a baby. :(

Brandi said...

Hi I'm here via SITS. I personaly have always been up front with men I go out on dates with, if I can't see marriage and father material then it just isn't going to happen. lol Sounds crazy but at least I know I'm not wasting time. : )

Father material is so many different things to me. It's how they are around their mother's there brothers and sistres, how they treat women. Just all around.


Eve said...

I agree completely!

When I was dating, I was always aware of how a guy treated his mother and sisters and even strangers because I felt certain that the amount of respect and consideration he would give others was an indication of how he would treat me. One of the things that stood out right away about my husband were his great manners and his consideration for others - for anyone. My thought was that the same core values that make someone a considerate and kind person were the same values that would make someone a good spouse. I definitely think this carries on through to being a good parent!