Hugh Jackman VS. Portia

DISCLAIMER:I retain the right to tease, exaggerate, embellish and rant about my own husband's testosterone induced bad behavior. My husband is not perfect but he is perfect for me. I don't want anyone to get the wrong idea and think I'm still on the market. So for ALL of you (guys, girls and Hugh Jackman included) who have been searching for a leaking mommy with two kids, dry skin and a lack of will power to shave, I am NOT your girl. Please don't be too disappointed. There are many other sleep deprived, oatmeal crusted moms that would love to meet you. No I will NOT introduce you. You will just have to borrow your niece and hit up playgroup like all the other single guys.

This morning I did NOT think maybe Ellen DeGeneres and Portia are on to something. I did NOT tell my husband, "Babe I will never leave you for another testosterone suffering male but another woman might not be off the table.". What kind of loving wife would say such a thing to her sexy and adoring hubby?
Well....see here is the thing….
Ellen has never had to worry about cleaning up Portia's chest hair. I am certain Portia, even if she had chest hair, would not trim it and then bundle the black curly mess up and tuck it in the corner of the bathroom for safe keeping. A woman would NEVER do this. So, Ellen would not, unknowingly, pick up the neatly and deceptively folded bath towel. She would not swaddle their hypothetical baby in a pile of black and curlies. The baby would not be curly coated, thus negating the whole time and effort just spent bathing the baby. I am positive that when Ellen was working on her Pro&Con list, Hugh Vs Portia, that this scenario made her con list. It may have very well tipped the scales in Portia's favor.

In case you are wondering, I did NOTand have NEVER accidentally curly coated the baby in my husband's chest hair. I would know better and take note that Hugh Jackman/ Wolverine can shave his chest hair in my tub anytime. Now please excuse me while I go rewash the baby.