We love to SCRATCH!

Click here to check out Scratch 

We have to Scratch every day and we don't even have lice. We have the technology bug thanks to a great free program called Scratch. MIT has stepped up and designed a computer programing site that is available and free to all children. It is designed so that kids can work independently through trial and error. When my daughter gets completely stuck she can search tips and tutorials on her own and solve her own problems. Scratch is unique in that even the youngest users can find, fix and report glitches themselves. She never asks me to jump in and save her. Honestly, I probably couldn't anyway. All of the toys we have discovered that rely on technology seem to reward button pushers and not creators. This is the first time we have found anything in the realm of technology that is as open ended and limitless as blocks.

Educational tasks for children using Scratch:

Hide spelling words in scenes.

Create an animated card for a fictional character, historical figure or current politician.

Draw historical figures, animate and add famous quotes.

Create a commercial geared towards a time or event in history.

Sketch out the water cycle, anatomy or even plant cells and animate in a skit.

 

Let them be free! Parents should resist the urge to be a fun sucker and

trust that children will find more educational and amazing things to do with Scratch than

anyone could ever imagine.

Writing Contest Alert!

There is a cool writing contest for short stories and poetry coming up with a $1,000 prize! Sadly for Sixfold Journal submissions are down but that just means better odds for my fellow poets. The deadline is July 24th and I know you bloggy babes have some poetry and stories lying around.  So wipe the oatmeal and breast milk off your keyboard and get to work. I did! The best part is the winner is selected by your writing peers and not some elusive editor with pursed lips and a stash of preprinted rejection letters. You'll even get to act all professional and leave feedback. If you enter let me know and I'll send you a gumball and a temporary princess tattoo. What? It works for my girls! I guess I need to start a separate big girls prize box if I intend to effectively bribe you all. The entry fee is only six bucks. You get to enter and read other people's work. I spend more than that in library fines! I loved being able to submit online. The kids were able to duct tape the walls, swirl the cats tail in the toilet and finger paint my favorite bra without any interruptions from me. Good Luck!!

Sixfold Journal

Loving Georgia

When we first came to the Augusta area we were miserable. It was hot, sticky and beachless. We missed Hawaii. We missed our friends. We missed the reef walks, waterfalls and sea turtles on Oahu . As temperatures in Georgia dropped our optimism rose. One of the first things our girls fell madly in love with here were Alpacas. The owner of Twisted Fence Ranch opened her home and hearts to our family. She dazzled our girls with her Angora bunny, her llama, alpacas and chickens. For a moment our girls forgot about the adventures they left behind and they smiled. The owner, Judy, showered the girls with information and was so wonderful with both of them. We fed the animals, checked for eggs and even helped sort and wash the wool. Judy is a whirlwind. It seems like there is nothing she can't do. She even won over my shy and stoic daughter. Her energy and kindness inspired our family to try harder. Thank you for helping us conquer our homesickness! Please Click Here  learn more about Twisted Fence Ranch tours, classes and products in Grovetown, Georgia.

Magical Scat Recipe

When hunting for anything deer, cougars, leprechauns, bears or fairies you need to look for scat.
Magical creatures are elusive and scat is sometimes all you'll ever find. Your children may love scat hunting. They can dissect it, smell it and even guess what their magical creature ate. Or they'll look at you like you've lost your mind like my children. The only thing you need is a little glue, a lot of glitter and various spices, seeds and beans from your pantry. We used green glitter and dried pinto beans for our Leprachaun scat. I mix it in individual cupcake liners so it's easy to dump and scatter in individual mounds and it keeps the glitter contained. I love to use mustard seeds, coriander and flower petals depending on the size and nature of your creature. A good book to read with this activity for younger children is Everyone Poops by Taro Gomi.

A Special Gift

Our toy nets and boxes are overwhelmed. I have nightmares that my children's barbies and plastic thingamajigs awake at night and plan our demise. How can I save myself from toy induced madness? I found the perfect non-toy birthday gift. It is not plastic or fluffy and does not require batteries. It is a Megalodon tooth larger than her hand. I can't wait for her to curl her little fingers around that tooth and grasp the enormity of the past. Isn't that what we all want-

to be awe struck?

CLICK HERE to pay a visit to my Etsy Angel that has fossils and chunks of wonder for sale. Go grab a little shock and awe for yourself. She also makes stunning leather journals

that beg to be written in and kept forever. I need one for my grocery lists.

Today's list might snag a poetry prize,

"Goldfish, Granola, Cookie Dough, Mangoes, Rice and Wet Wipes".

After all, everything seems edgier and more intriguing in leather even words.

Gravity and Air

Science Homeschool Style!

The trick for huge, stretchy bubbles is adding lubricant. That can be anything from a cup of corn syrup to a cup of lubricant from the unmentionable section. You can add that to your list of odd subsitutions! However, that kind of subsitution does NOT work both ways so don't blame me if your baking tastes off. You've been warned.

My Gift to You

I will not be sending you a Christmas card, handmade bath scrubs, wax candles, holiday letters or chocolate dipped peppermint sticks. I will not be bringing homemade spinach pinwheels and chocolate dipped fruit to your Christmas party. I will not be posting an adorable family photo here or on Facebook. I will not be doing any of these things because "Jesus is the reason for the season" and Jesus wants the truth. The truth is if I duct tape my family long enough for a family portrait I would have a compulsion to photo shop my under eye circles and crop out the princesses 'snot flicking and THAT would be dishonest. If I would ever get my kitchen clean enough to make fuzz free holiday treats I would probably burn them and then spend time unwrapping store bought treats and repackaging them to look homemade and THAT would be dishonest. If I did attempt to write a holiday letter I would be implying that I really think you care and THAT would be dishonest. If you really cared you would already now all my BS and would not need a damn letter. Normally I would say I couldn't come to your Christmas party because I am a neurotic hot mess who rarely leaves her children with nut jobs posing as loving family and friends. That is the honest truth but I also adore my girls and even my hubby no matter how many times I joke about drinking heavily and self medicating. I don't leave them because I really am crazy but I'm crazy about them also. I know one day my girls will grow up and realize that I am a wack job and will run as far and fast as they can. So until they can drive...or reach the deadbolt I plan on spending as much time as we can as a family. However, I can give you the truth. The truth is I wear close toed shoes in Hawaii because my polish is chipped and my ankles are sporting a little leg hair garland to celebrate the season. There is more food on my floor than my table. The only thing I got hubby for Christmas was a vasectomy pamphlet and a subscription to National Geographic and both of those things are kind of for me. What is it about Christmas that makes us work so hard whipping up the perfection? Is it Jesus? Is it that sneaking suspicion that he might peek in on our unembellished lives and think," Wow I went through that whole birth and suffering on the cross thing for this?" Or do we do it to ourselves? Editing and photo shopping our lives to the point that we become perpetual hoop jumpers? This year let's pour some wine from a box and raise our paper cups to a perfectly flawed holiday season. Cheers!

Coral Cake

Hubby made princess a stunning cake with glowing candy coral by pouring melted sugar over a bucket of ice. It turned out perfect and princess was thrilled. I really don't think there is anything sexier than my man dressed in camo

and coated in powdered sugar.

He doesn't just tolerate our daughters' interest, he embraces them even if it means getting flour on his Army boots.

The best directions for making sugar coral for a candy reef came from Cake Baking Mom and the inspiration came from our oldest daughter's favorite show, Cake Boss. Thank you for making wishes come true!

Intense Video

I've always told hubby that I would never trade him for another man. You just get the same problems, different man. Most of our agreements are testosterone induced. I have an inability to understand his aversion to flushing and he can't grasp my commitment to finding a true waterproof eyeliner. It was comforting to know that if the back hair in the tub ever got too much to take there was always plan B, Lesbianism. Unfortunately the fierce and talented Deborah Vial shattered my plan B with her latest video. Her video is gritty and shows that wether it comes with a vagina or a penis it still comes with problems. Her voice is amazing and it helped me realize if back hair is the worst of my problems I'm in pretty good shape. So enjoy her voice and haunting video while I go scoop the hair out of the tub drain. You probably want to wait until the kids are in bed for this one!!

P.S: If you are easily offended by same sex couples or on-screen passion then watch it with your eyes closed and dig her voice anyway!!!

Gambling on Homeschooling

The bad news is the school in our district is known for homeless flashers on the playground and second graders with the ability to spit in feet, not inches. I had the choice of sending princes to a school that should have pepper spray listed on the school supply list or homeschooling her. The great news is that homeschooling is allowing me to skip those pesky math worksheets and teach her something she can actually use later in life, Texas Hold'em. I'll still break out those boring timed tests but they take a back seat to blackjack. Who needs "greater than" and "less than" in the face of real choices like "stay" and "hit me". I even incorporated it into our weekly spelling lesson with words like push, bust, fold, bluff, double and down. Do you think we could hit up Vegas for a little field trip? We would probably run into less nudity and stealing than at our nearest school playground.

As always I am at least 50% serious 100% of the time.

We're Back!

I went into hiding through most of the deployment. It isn't that joy didn't happen. Our lives did not stop twirling and we even giggled our way through the tough times. The tricky thing about being a military wife is happiness can be guilt coated. It is hard to fully embrace the laughter when every belly laugh is one missed. When it comes down to it moments are best not just lived but shared. Since I couldn't really share those moments with the love of my life I didn't share them with you. I would love to tell you that I made the most of it. The truth is I wallowed in pity for a good portion of the time. We splashed, tickled and cried our way through the year and made it through the deployment one Popsicle at a time. We pushed the sadness back with tootsie rolls, grandparents, caffeine and all access play dough passes. Now we're back together and living life full force. Thank you for your words of encouragement. It was comforting to know that you all were here and just waiting for me to shake the grumpies off and get back to business.

The Shutdown

Since hubby is still deployed and we might not be getting paid I've been racking my brain trying to scrape together some extra cash. Selling my body is off the table. There are just some things that should never be marketed as slightly used. So I thought about selling crack instead but I don't even know what crack looks like so there goes plan B. I guess this is what we get for buying into the whole "defending freedom" crap. If only our family had sought a more reputable profession like extortion, bribery, embezzlement or politics in general we might be getting paid. On the bright side I hear the Taliban is very reasonable and promises not to shoot at anyone who is not getting paid to shoot back. Instead of fighting during the government shutdown everyone is just going to sit down together and drink pina coladas. Drinks will be served in fresh coconuts with little umbrellas printed with pictures of Obama and John Boehner scratching their junk. You can purchase your own drink umbrella by sending exorbitant amounts of money to my PayPal account. Now please excuse me while I break open some Ramen Noodles and collect rain water for the children. They still expect to eat. I'm trying to teach them to survive on air and politicians' excuses but they're still whining.

When I prayed for eight inches I should have been more specific!

Oklahoma is a shaken snow globe and this is the perfect time for snow ice cream!Don't forget to stick a clean container outside to collect snow as it falls. Is it safe to eat snow ice cream? Probably not but it isn't safe to sled, microwave, talk on your cell phone or eat non-organic fruit either.

Simple Snow Ice Cream Recipe:

• 1 gallon snow
• 1 cup white sugar
• 1 tablespoon vanilla extract
• 2 cups milk

Gourmet Snow Ice Cream Recipe:

• 1 (12 fluid ounce) can condensed milk, (Eagle Brand)
• 1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract
• 1/4 cup white sugar
• 1 gallon snow

** Mix sugar and milk/eagle brand then chill before drizzling over snow. Or mound snow into cups like snow cones and just drizzle with the milk mixture. I miss Aoki's in Hawaii right now. Our entire front lawn looks like a giant shaved iced.

Recipe for a Natural Glow

I have never seen winter skin and chapped lips look so good! I'm going to start trying my daughters' recipe for a glowing complexion. I'm tossing my bronzer, blush and foundation for snowballs and dirt. I'm trading my make-up routine for snow angels and freeze tag. I'm tossing the lip plumper and just licking my lips while facing into the wind!

Thankful Things and Other Stuff

I am thankful for my six year old despite her sudden oral fixation with all things smooth and shiny.

I am thankful I did not run to the ER in hysterics with my daughter by the ankles screaming, "HELP! HELP! SHE SWALLOWED A $#@*! Pebble".

I am thankful for my mother and her long reassuring lists of crap I ate as a small and "not so small" child

I am thankful that most glass pebbles are under 2cm in diameter with smooth edges.

I am thankful that the Internet has detailed instructions on poo searches and pebble retrieval.

I am thankful for the long handled wooden salad spoon I used to search and seize the pebble from a pile of floating poo.

Now YOU can be thankful you aren't being served salad at my Thanksgiving dinner.

What?! It's a REALLY good spoon! Do you expect me to just throw it away?!

Check out the Real Housewives of Oklahoma for some fun "Follow Me Back Tuesday"

Terry Jones is NOT my friend

I have no respect for people who pick fights they are not willing and capable of finishing. Terry Jones will NOT be in Afghanistan to put out the fire he starts. I won't have time to burn books on Sept. 11th. I will be too busy sending love and prayers to my husband. He doesn't have the luxury of hiding behind a lighter and letting others take the heat. It is easy to start a fire. It takes true courage to brave the flames and put the fire out. Terry Jones is not a hero. He is not the voice of America. Yes, we are a military family. However, we still fight to greet the day with love in our hearts. I am thinking of all of you with love in my heart regardless of your religon or where you were born. I am hoping your child lives a life of love and respect regardless if their bedtime story comes from the Koran or Bible. No child deserves to live a life of fear and hate. My heart is open to you and my lighter is down.

This is Depressing

If you're modest avert your eyes!!

It's official, the local insects are getting more action in two minutes than I'll get all year. On the upside I don't have to shave my legs until hubby comes home on leave! Just imagine how much I'm saving on razor blades, creams and wax! Gillette will probably start to see a drop in profits now that I don't even have to shave below the knee.

A Birth

She smacked into our window and then gave birth right under the window sill.

What mother can't relate to being smacked silly into motherhood?

Lost. Disoriented. Confused. Frightened.

Some fly away, wings or no wings.

Click below to visit Seven Clown Circus and bust open a whole bag of wordful excitement.

Play On

This week's theme

is Play. In our house if isn't messy, wiggly or wild it isn't fun.

You can play along too over at I ♥ faces !

To the Rescue

Who needs prescription medication when you have your very own set of superheroes?

Now what should I call these little heroes and what powers do they possess?