Tsunami Saturday

It's looking like a case of premature evacuation. We're thrilled, relieved and overstocked. We'll be giving away bottled water, batteries and gallon jars of bulk Mayo on the street corners of Oahu.

Our hearts and prayers go out to the people in Chile. Hoping your loved ones are safe in your arms wherever you may be. I'll be holding my love bugs as long as they'll let me.

Don't Touch My Weenie!!

The American Academy of Pediatrics is recommending a complete weenie redesign. Wiener chokage is the culprit behind 17 percent of food-related asphyxiations in children under 10. However, our weak economy can not endure a wiener fiasco. Wiener workers will be forced to shoulder the added cost of a wiener redesign or wiener warnings. Jobs will be lost. Salaries will be cut. It will be a dark day in American history, "The Day the Wiener died". We can prevent this. You don't need to sign petitions, write your senator or bribe a pediatrician. To stop the wiener fiasco you must spread this one fundamental truth...
If you have a problem weenie just cut it to pieces! Halves will not due. Chop. Chop. Chop.

Wiener Warriors Unite!!
Click Here for the informative wiener article.

Birthday Madness!

After nearly six years of thumbing my nose at extravagent birthday parties I am taking the plunge. A guest list that includes over twenty wild children and an actual party theme complete with games!!

Her dream party includes face painting and balloon twisting. She's getting face painting and a homemade pin the tail on the cat poster.

Her theme is cats and cats. She would love a cake modeled after her own cat with fairy wings and covered in pearls made by The Cake Boss.

She is getting a purple and pink cake sprinkled with edible fondant pearls. I have discovered some amazing Etsy Birthday fairies to help make her day magical!!

My Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Year

I started by nicking the car, then had my wisdom teeth cut out, had the flu twice, took hubby to the Emergency Room, took baby wild to the Emergency Room, the truck broke down and we found out hubby will probably be deploying to a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad place. Is it 2011 yet? And does anyone have any tips on how to break a five year old from sucking on her germy little fingers?
P.S: Please don't worry. We are well enough. Nothing time and a membership to the wine of the month club won't fix.

Who needs answers?

Parenting can be a confidence crusher. There is nothing like an inquisitive five year old to make you realize how little you know about your own world. I just try to remember true teaching provides more questions than answers. What is the best, hardest or funniest question you ever heard from a child. Answer optional. ;)

How do I look?

Say what you want about Heidi Montag but she is one tough cookie. She rocked those before and after photographs. I didn't look as hot post op. Now maybe I would have looked better if I walked out with a new nose and bigger boobs instead of three less teeth.

I decided to show you the ugly. I think I would rather share nude pictures of myself ten years ago than this little gem. However, I think it is good to see the bad and the ugly. No Botox or virtual wrinkle remover. Maybe if we would would fess up more often then girls in their early twenties wouldn't offer their bodies up to plastic surgeons like lumps of clay.
The swellings gone but I still hurt and I only had my wisdom teeth removed! Simple in and out procedure my a*$! I would rather have a baby. You walk out with something to show for your pain and the drugs are better. I can't even begin to imagine the pain people endure from plastic surgery procedures. If you're in your twenties and baby free listen up... You are gorgeous. You are at your peak. Save your money, skip the pain and take your hot self out for a drink!

Support Issues

I'm not sure if I need a new bra or a produce sack.

I think I'll just head to the produce aisle and ask my fellow shoppers, "Does this sack make my breasts look perky?".