We're Back!

I went into hiding through most of the deployment. It isn't that joy didn't happen. Our lives did not stop twirling and we even giggled our way through the tough times. The tricky thing about being a military wife is happiness can be guilt coated. It is hard to fully embrace the laughter when every belly laugh is one missed. When it comes down to it moments are best not just lived but shared. Since I couldn't really share those moments with the love of my life I didn't share them with you. I would love to tell you that I made the most of it. The truth is I wallowed in pity for a good portion of the time. We splashed, tickled and cried our way through the year and made it through the deployment one Popsicle at a time. We pushed the sadness back with tootsie rolls, grandparents, caffeine and all access play dough passes. Now we're back together and living life full force. Thank you for your words of encouragement. It was comforting to know that you all were here and just waiting for me to shake the grumpies off and get back to business.

The Shutdown

Since hubby is still deployed and we might not be getting paid I've been racking my brain trying to scrape together some extra cash. Selling my body is off the table. There are just some things that should never be marketed as slightly used. So I thought about selling crack instead but I don't even know what crack looks like so there goes plan B. I guess this is what we get for buying into the whole "defending freedom" crap. If only our family had sought a more reputable profession like extortion, bribery, embezzlement or politics in general we might be getting paid. On the bright side I hear the Taliban is very reasonable and promises not to shoot at anyone who is not getting paid to shoot back. Instead of fighting during the government shutdown everyone is just going to sit down together and drink pina coladas. Drinks will be served in fresh coconuts with little umbrellas printed with pictures of Obama and John Boehner scratching their junk. You can purchase your own drink umbrella by sending exorbitant amounts of money to my PayPal account. Now please excuse me while I break open some Ramen Noodles and collect rain water for the children. They still expect to eat. I'm trying to teach them to survive on air and politicians' excuses but they're still whining.

When I prayed for eight inches I should have been more specific!

Oklahoma is a shaken snow globe and this is the perfect time for snow ice cream!Don't forget to stick a clean container outside to collect snow as it falls. Is it safe to eat snow ice cream? Probably not but it isn't safe to sled, microwave, talk on your cell phone or eat non-organic fruit either.

Simple Snow Ice Cream Recipe:

• 1 gallon snow
• 1 cup white sugar
• 1 tablespoon vanilla extract
• 2 cups milk

Gourmet Snow Ice Cream Recipe:

• 1 (12 fluid ounce) can condensed milk, (Eagle Brand)
• 1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract
• 1/4 cup white sugar
• 1 gallon snow

** Mix sugar and milk/eagle brand then chill before drizzling over snow. Or mound snow into cups like snow cones and just drizzle with the milk mixture. I miss Aoki's in Hawaii right now. Our entire front lawn looks like a giant shaved iced.

Recipe for a Natural Glow

I have never seen winter skin and chapped lips look so good! I'm going to start trying my daughters' recipe for a glowing complexion. I'm tossing my bronzer, blush and foundation for snowballs and dirt. I'm trading my make-up routine for snow angels and freeze tag. I'm tossing the lip plumper and just licking my lips while facing into the wind!

Thankful Things and Other Stuff

I am thankful for my six year old despite her sudden oral fixation with all things smooth and shiny.

I am thankful I did not run to the ER in hysterics with my daughter by the ankles screaming, "HELP! HELP! SHE SWALLOWED A $#@*! Pebble".

I am thankful for my mother and her long reassuring lists of crap I ate as a small and "not so small" child

I am thankful that most glass pebbles are under 2cm in diameter with smooth edges.

I am thankful that the Internet has detailed instructions on poo searches and pebble retrieval.

I am thankful for the long handled wooden salad spoon I used to search and seize the pebble from a pile of floating poo.

Now YOU can be thankful you aren't being served salad at my Thanksgiving dinner.

What?! It's a REALLY good spoon! Do you expect me to just throw it away?!

Check out the Real Housewives of Oklahoma for some fun "Follow Me Back Tuesday"

Terry Jones is NOT my friend

I have no respect for people who pick fights they are not willing and capable of finishing. Terry Jones will NOT be in Afghanistan to put out the fire he starts. I won't have time to burn books on Sept. 11th. I will be too busy sending love and prayers to my husband. He doesn't have the luxury of hiding behind a lighter and letting others take the heat. It is easy to start a fire. It takes true courage to brave the flames and put the fire out. Terry Jones is not a hero. He is not the voice of America. Yes, we are a military family. However, we still fight to greet the day with love in our hearts. I am thinking of all of you with love in my heart regardless of your religon or where you were born. I am hoping your child lives a life of love and respect regardless if their bedtime story comes from the Koran or Bible. No child deserves to live a life of fear and hate. My heart is open to you and my lighter is down.

This is Depressing

If you're modest avert your eyes!!

It's official, the local insects are getting more action in two minutes than I'll get all year. On the upside I don't have to shave my legs until hubby comes home on leave! Just imagine how much I'm saving on razor blades, creams and wax! Gillette will probably start to see a drop in profits now that I don't even have to shave below the knee.