Your Two Cents

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Unsolicited advice is an acquired taste. If you are a first time mom you better acquire the taste fast because it is headed your way. Everyone from the sixteen year old Starbucks cashier to your hubby's Great Gram's pharmacist will offer up their two cents. Perfect strangers will even offer up their advice on the best exit strategy for your baby and if you aren't prepared you'll find yourself talking about your vagina on a park bench with a complete stranger rubbing your tummy.
So here is my two cents on handling two cents. The first step is realizing that when an elderly lady passing by reaches into your stroller and tucks the blanket around your baby and chides, "It is cold today for such a little one". She is not saying, "You horrible irresponsible mom. You are going to give your baby frostbite. I'm calling social services!" If you try to read between the lines every time someone gives you unsolicited advice you'll go crazy or wind up in prison. So remind yourself that she is simply saying, "Damn, it's cold today isn't it? I wish I could cozy up in there and you could push me around".

When Uncle Bill gives you his two cents on kids and the benefits of Mountain Dew and nods over at his three semi grown kids as living breathing proof you have three choices:

1. Offer a detailed explanation why you will not be filling up the bottle with sugary green goodness and launch into a fact filled debate on childhood obesity and diabetes.

2. Cave, pop the top and reach for the baby bottle. What do you know after all?

or my personal path of choice...

3. Smile and keep on doing what you're doing.
It took a long time for me to find my own way and become confident in my own choices. For me embracing unsolicited advice as a surprise gift makes it easier. I don't always agree with the things people throw my way but I don't have to. I try to look at advice not as criticism but as a random act of kindness. I adore free stuff. Why should advice be an exception?

As for giving out belly rubs to expecting moms..... personally I think people should approach most pregnant women with the same caution you approach an unfamiliar pit bill. You wouldn't prance over and give it a scratch under the chin. You would wait for an invitation like a face lick or tail wag. Women are even easier to decode, just ask. Where are the tummy rubbers? I know you're out there. :)