I will continue to celebrate motherhood. So if breasts, birth, dilation and mother's milk makes you uncomfortable please consider yourself warned.
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Thursday, March 25, 2010

Bringing You Up to Speed

There are several big revelations, life changing moments and small struggles I need to reveal to you. However, I can't do that until you know a few things about me. I'm going to begin with my mistrust of doctors and borderline loathing of modern medicine. When I was pregnant with Rew I began showing signs of miscarriage. I found a very kind and proactive doctor. He was preceded by a long list of nurses and doctors that spouted off reassurances that nearly half of women miscarriage they just often miscarriage before they even know they are pregnant. Their idea of treatment was a tough love approach to prepare me for the inevitable. It certainly did not stop the spotting from getting more frequent and heavier. Luckily the ever elusive experienced and compassionate doctor came into our lives. He stuck around long enough to find out I was not a statistic but a young woman with a hypothyroid condition. I started taking levothyroxine and the spotting stopped. We moved to another state and I was transferred to the care of another doctor. This doctor was dismissive of my thyroid condition and failed to monitor my levels despite the fact that I was pregnant and newly diagnosed. Rew was born by emergency c/s and spent the first week in ICU with Tachycardia. Her heart was beating so fast they were worried her heart wasn't even having time to pump blood throughout her body. I took her home and spent those first baby moments counting her heartbeats and checking her for blue discolored legs. I wondered if the human heart only had so many beats in a lifetime. I watched her breathing and worried she was ticking away. After countless specialist and only a few short months her heart slowed down and so did mine. Her Tachycardia was just a brief side effect of my thyroid condition. My levels were not properly monitored and she paid the price. I wish I had known more about my thyroid condition before she was born. I would have been more proactive. I trusted that my doctor with his years of experience and education in medicine knew best. The birth of our second child sealed the deal for me. I'll share the scoop on that gem next. Soon you will be caught up on my past so we can dig into the present.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

You Should Know

I'll be flying soon and my homemade playdough and crumpled foil candy wrappers are sure to be tagged as bomb making materials. I hope I have Internet access while I await trial. I know what you're thinking. Why not skip the playdough and the candy and just fly over eight hours with two small children with nothing but a plane full of people trying to sleep? If you have ever flown with or next to a small child then you understand why prison doesn't sound half bad.

P.S: I will be announcing the PUUUUURFECT giveaway soon enough and I have a new favorite thing that I keep forgetting to join in on..
Mommy and Me Monday at Really, Are You Serious?
Hosted by Krystyn
Yes. I know it is Tuesday already. I need someone to poke me with a stick on Friday and remind me to pin my children down, put on lip gloss and figure out the timer on the camera so I can finally join in. Krystyn is inspiring moms to step out from behind the camera and in front of it. Blogggy moms tend to be as elusive and camera shy as the Loch Ness Monster.

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Great Movie Alert

Whip It was fabulous! It has all the important life lessons a girl needs to learn...
1. Do what makes you happy.
2. Unless what makes you happy is a douchey boy posing as a nice guy. Don't do that
even if it makes you temporarily happy.
3. If you forget rule #2 reread rule #1 and thank your lucky stars you have real friends to help you elbow your way through your mistakes.
If you are expecting reviews on new releases you came to the wrong place. If it isn't out at the video store I haven't seen it. I watch movies in the comfort of my own home with complete control of the pause and the mute button. A mom has to be vigilant on dirty word patrol because children hear everything even when they are curled up in their own bedrooms and supposedly sleeping. I'm so used to watching movies on low volume that I think the last time I went to the Movie Theatre my ears bled.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Color Coding Children

I have decided children should be color coded by level of difficulty. That way the next time my child throws a tantrum in public I can push through with the same pride and tenacity of a skier tackling a black diamond. I will look at the glaring fellow moms and their little bunny slope children and shrug, "I love a challenge". It's like finishing of a boxed mix cake with canned icing versus struggling over a five tiered wedding cake from scratch. Shouldn't level of difficulty count for something?
I would love to go over my color coding system in great detail but it is a patent pending design so I better keep it hush hush. ;)

Friday, March 12, 2010

Optimistic Fragments

So I found a half eaten candy cane balanced precariously on the edge of the toilet rim in a pool of sticky pink candy cane juice. Was Wild Thing using it as a stir sick or a dip stick? What are the odds she was just stirring the pot and not sucking toilet water off the candy cane?

The bright side:
1. My daughter and toilet are both minty fresh and protected against Gingivitis.
2. We have bleach free non-toxic toilet water since I never get around to bleaching the bathroom.
3. I am building her immunity while other parents are wasting time building their children's vocabulary.
4. The random sticky goo that adhered me to the toilet seat is no longer a mystery.
5. Toilet drinkers turn out great pics even with their ears on backwards and extra sass!!

A special thank you to the owner of Knees and Paws
for the adorable snow leopard ears with matching knees and paws. Click Here to learn all about her fun mascot contest and a chance for your very own knees and paws!!

Mommy's Idea

Now it's your turn to break out your fragments!! Click on the button above to link up.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Fun Party Invite or Favor

This is an idea for easy and inexpensive party invites or favors.
You will need:
Postcards or card stock
Ribbon lined Alligator hair clips (Suckers will work also)

Use a box knife to make parallel cuts of equal length on your card. They can be horizontal or vertical. Now just squeeze the clip open and weave it through the slit. Punch a hole in the upper corner and tie it to a balloon. It is the perfect fun little party favor or invitation.

Need a little help lining alligator clips? http://www.girlythingsbows.com/ is one of my favorite sites for very simple and basic instructions. The instructions listed across the top of the site are in alphabetical order. Once you have a lined clip you can glue on anything from crystals to buttons. My favorite are satin roses. Or you can slide in suckers in the slit instead and just tie ribbon to the stick.

I had the card featured in my example custom printed by Vista Print, http://www.vistaprint.com/. They are always having free offers. I only had to pay shipping. I recieved over 100 small postcards. I also use Vista Print to custom print thank you cards, care instructions, personalized invitations and business cards.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Hatching Cats

Our backyard is a sanctuary for magical cats. Angel kittens, glitter pumas and fairy tigers are born here every day. They hatch from eggs and chip away at their shell with their glittering claws. They are timid, shy and slow to walk. Here in our safe haven they get the the attention, patience and ummmm...

gentle persuasion they need.

Note to My Neighbors:

Laying tiger, puma and angel kitty eggs is not easy. So the next time you see me squatting in the yard and laying eggs will you please stare less. Egg laying is not an easy business and requires deep concentration and yoga like flexibility. My pesky kittens refuse to hatch if I do not display proper egg legging maneuvers. I'm getting really sick of having to go over this again and again for the police report.

Love, Mama Kitty