WARNING
I will continue to celebrate motherhood. So if breasts, birth, dilation and mother's milk makes you uncomfortable please consider yourself warned.
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Friday, April 9, 2010

As promised...

Once Rew was out of NICU and in my arms I was your typical neurotic mom. I analyzed feces, weight and sleep problem. I memorized averages and plotted her on the imaginary scale of progress. She grew into a bright, lanky and contemplative baby. I listened to doctors when they said she was failing to thrive. I let myself be convinced her freakish attention span was not a good sign. The bony knees I loved to tickle were a sign of my failure as her mother. As suggested I replaced her carrots, ham and whole grain breads with Pediasure and everything buttered. I charted everything she ate. She ran. She played. She grew taller and started walking on legs engineered more for a runway model than a toddler. We enjoyed life until the scheduled doctor visits. Every tests with a normal result prompted longer and more invasive tests. Finally my sweet toddler had so many tests she began offering up her arm to the needle without being prompted and I put my foot down. I was thin. Her father was thin. She was ours down to the very tips of her sharp little collar bone.
I learned that doctors specialize in medicine and I specialize in my daughter. I started trusting less in books, doctors and people with more experience with children than me. I started trusting in myself and my child. When I was pregnant with our second daughter my doctor was dismissive of my thyroid condition. My oldest daughter had already paid the price for my lack of confidence in myself and I refused to make the same mistakes. I insisted that my fatigue was not just a regular result of my pregnancy. When my doctor continued to ignore my pleas I requested to see a specialist. I made it harder to ignore me than to just fill out the request. The very day I was referred to a specialist her office called and doubled my current dose of Levothyroxine. The nurse urged me to fill the prescription that day because based on the same test results my regular obstetrician had my levels were low enough to put my pregnancy at risk. I was fired as a patient. My doctor dropped me like a hot potato. Our second daughter was born via VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean) and we were both home healthy within 24 hours after birth. She is dainty just like her sister. I have had pediatricians push for tests because she is not growing at an average weight but I refuse the tests. When she has vaccinations she fights the needle with an unrelenting ferocity that I love. Next time you have to pin your child down for a vaccine treasure the fact that it happens so infrequently they have it in them to fight. I assure you seeing a child's spirit broken by countless testing, poking and prodding is worse than a spirited battle with a healthy child.
There are still amazing and wonderful doctors that consider the health of your family a team effort. A special thank you to those fabulous doctors who realize patients are more than tests results and chicken scratches on a medical chart.
**If you are a pregnant woman with a thyroid condition please know that your needs change with pregnancy. A pregnant woman's targeted levels are different. I have yet to meet a regular obstetrician that was even aware of that. During my second pregnancy I lucked into an endocrinologist very familiar with the impact thyroid conditions have on conception and pregnancy. She worked closely with my new obstetrician to ensure that my second delivery was completely uneventful.

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7 comments:

♥ Kathy said...

I'm so glad you had a good doctor

SugarandSpice said...

These were your words..."Next time you have to pin your child down for a vaccine, treasure the fact that it happens so infrequently they have it in them to fight" and when I read this I felt tears in my eyes. The next time I am at the doctor with one of my children I will hold onto these words. I will cherish them and my so far healthy children.

Just A Mom (Call me JAM for short) said...

Amen sister! I had a similar experience when my son was a baby and he had some medical problems. Thank goodness he was my second child and I was a decade older. I was confident enough to stand up to the doctors that thought they knew it all.

We are our own and our children's best advocates. Always remember that and stay strong...

Thanks for stopping by and entering my Tarte Mascara Giveaway. Good luck!

Helene said...

I love this post!! I was VERY blessed to have a regular physician who was aware of the changes in thyroid condition when pregnant. I didn't even know that even though I had been on levothroid for quite awhile before becoming pregnant. Immediately upon learning I was pregnant the first time, my dr tested my levels and increased my med dosage.

I'm amazed that not a lot of dr's know this.

Krystyn said...

I'm so with you on trusting your instinct first, and listening to the doctors in the background. We are smart...we know our bodies.

Donnetta said...

My nephew, who is now a very healthy 15 year old, was diagnosed with leukemia when he was 4. I DO treasure every fight my child gives against those needles. Because it was utterly heartbreaking to see him "offer up his arm."

Emmy said...

Glad you had a better Dr the second time around... and yes as mom's we often do know best. Sorry your first daughter had to go though so much and so good for you for putting your foot down.