I'm feeling overwhelmed and a little lost. Princess starts school and will be leaving me. The longest we have ever spent apart is at birth when she she was taken to NICU. I have been neurotically stingy with her ever since they took her off the monitors and put her back in my arms.
She kept me company through two deployments. Through the first she literally kicked me forward from the inside out, urging me on from the womb. The second time she helped me navigate a foreign country all alone. Together we tasted German sweets and explored Roman ruins. Her baby babble was universal and defied all language barriers.
I am going to be lost without her. I will even miss the sibling squabbles and feisty girly squeals. She will be gone for a moment. It is still enough to make my breath catch and a half day without her is unimaginable. It makes me think of the families who are forced to move forward without their children for a lifetime. I wish I knew what to say to ease that kind of loss. I know there are no words. The only thing I can do is love my own daughters even more fiercely and suck up the moments we have. Please forgive me if I am around a little less and crazy more often. I am neurotic since the birth of my children and I think it will get worse before it gets better.
I apologize frequently to my daughter...
"Sorry you can't go to Susie's. I don't know her parents and Mommy is a bit of Whack Job about that kind of stuff".
She assures me,
"No stress. No worries. God made you that way".
She's wise beyond her years.
Baby Sister is trying to pick something out for Big Sister that is truley one of a kind. A good luck boogie perhaps? I think this might be our Christmas card! Any caption suggestions??
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