WARNING
I will continue to celebrate motherhood. So if breasts, birth, dilation and mother's milk makes you uncomfortable please consider yourself warned.
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Monday, June 22, 2009

Frankenipple

I've got Frankenipple and it's all your fault. Here's how it happened...
I'm blogging and nursing my little princess at the same time. I pop over to one of my favorite blogs just as the baby starts to nod off. WHAM! Music blares through the computer. It's suppose to be a little sweet, a little fun. Normally it would add a cool vibe to a rather fab blog. However, the baby startles and chomps down. We both scream.

And now here's the dilemma. Who gets the bill for reattaching my severed nipple? Did I mention it is my anniversary today? Isn't that worth a little extra pain and suffering? For all my music loving bloggers I still adore you. I won't hold my frankenipple against all of you. I am partially to blame for offering myself up as a human pacifier and nursing a piranha disguised as a human toddler. I've learned my lesson. I will be blogging from now on with the sound off.

If I was smart I would keep this little story to myself. Too late! I've already owned up to the breastache and the hair removal fiasco. I stopped pretending to be sane a long time ago! Do you have an embarrassing moment? Please share. I'd love to hear that I am not the only walking train wreck in blogland.
And don't worry about me. It isn't anything that can't be fixed with a dab of Neosporin, a butterfly closure and a shot of tequila.

29 comments:

PetalsYoga said...

Too freaking funny. Thanks for the early morning guffaw. I have so many embarrassing moments its hardly worth separating them from the rest of my day. One particularly cringe-worthy one is the time I introduced myself to a colleague of my hubbies only to be told by her that she knew me. In fact we'd had lunch over at their house only a few weeks before. OUCH! Pleading senility here.

Thanks again for the gorgeous word picture of the frankenboob.

mommaof4wife2r said...

oooops. really funny...sad for your nip though.

Alison said...

OK for the record, I don't do "awards" but if I did, I would give you the award for the best blog introduction/about me EVER!!!!

Glad to find you - going to read...

xoxo

Ali

Amy said...

Oh may that is a big ouch. I always turn the speakers down because I have had loud song get me.

Kara said...

Oh ouch, that is horrible! Just another reason that I don't like blogs with music playing in the background. ;)

Life, Love And Lola said...

LMAO...Ouch though!

Hillbilly Duhn said...

LOL & Ouch!!

Let's see, embarassing story... When I was around fifteen, it was my brother's birthday and we were all sitting about the kitchen table, chatting, I was wearing a sleevless shirt, it was hot out, when all of a sudden Mom and my Brother were doubled over, in tears, laughing so hard they couldn't breath. I was confused, what the heck, right, what's going on??? When my Mom finally at least had the strength to lift her arm and point to my chest.

I wasn't wearing a bra, and my right girl was hangin out bobbing away with my chatter.

Um, yikes. At fifteen, I was horrified and disapeared in my room for hours!!!

Isabel Princes said...

Oh that sounds painful! I think the most embarassing thing that happened to me was learning I could no longer wear low cut shirts, the hard way, after having babies.

The Blonde Duck said...

I shrieked in pain as I read about you shrieking in pain.

PetalsYoga said...

Thanks also for the great advice on my new business website. YOU ROCK!

Hugs!

My Cancer Scoreboard said...

Hi,
I Found your comment on the SITS webpage! Your kids are absolutely adorable and I LOVE your blog and your creativity.

I Wanted to introduce you to my non-profit cancer-support organization – Spirit Jump www.spiritjump.com and also to invite you to our summer fundraising raffle. New prizes every including airline tix, jewelry, grills, snow boards, blankets etc...100% goes to cancer fighting charity :)

We look forward to hearing from you and to your future blog posts!!

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AB HOME INTERIORS said...

Hahha Sounds painful. Maybe you should sue for damages, hahaha Popping in from SITS!

Krystyn said...

Oh, your poor nipple...I hope it gets better!

PS...I'm not a fan of the music.

MaRiN said...

found you on sits....you totally crack me up! i love that you don't hide the real you. keep it real!

DysFUNctional Mom said...

My nipples are flinching! Yow!

Orange Juice said...

I have a frankenipple too except its from a boob job...oh well..

HEY WHERE ARE YOU TUTUS!!?!? I went to check them out and there are NONE!

Bee and Rose said...

I cannot stop laughing! Frankenipple! LOL!!!!

I ALWAYS have my sound off when blogging now! I have been the victim of the unexpected music blast as well..not to the degree that you experienced, however!

HILARIOUS!!! I love the way you write!

B said...

Ha ha ha, you are too funny! I just found you through SITS. I love your fun blog. I have the same problem as you; can't help but share the stories that others would be horrified to admit to! Here's mine...
http://simply-b-me.blogspot.com/2009/05/those-precious-moments.html

SugarandSpice said...

hahahalololol!!! I can totally relate to this story it was greta! Thanks for sharing.

Lisa said...

Hahahaa...I can't tell you how many times I've had that same thing happen. No worries now though, I'm done nursing ;)

Baloney said...

Oh no!
At least I know it wasn't my blog. My player doesn't start automatically. I only listen to the musical ones on my laptop with the sound off.
I love your blog. Thanks for visiting mine! I'm having blogger issues lately and trouble posting.

Holly Noelle said...

Oooohhh...I HATE noisy blogs! HATE. THEM. SO. HARD. You're more gracious about it than I.

(found you through SITS)

The Royal Family said...

LMBO
seriously I have been there crack me up.

Hey you need my giveaway go enter! don't forget to follow me i have 2 more mommy giveaways lined up.

I am going to be a follower on your blog because you speak the truth.. HEE HEE HEE

Happy Thursday!

The Buzz
http://bzzagentroyalty.blogspot.com/

Brandy

p.s. found you on sits!

Corey~living and loving said...

oh my word....I totally get what happened to you. been there....done that. not blogging though...but the startled almost asleep child. OUCH!

Mama Mel said...

Hi from SITS! LOL! All I can say is ouch! I feel your pain... and I'm glad I won't be breastfeeding anytime soon. It was rough! I usually have my computer sound off, since my son has "sonic ears"...

Little Nut Tree said...

Oh my! The same happened to me the other day.
But my more recent embarrassing moment was when the boy (age 3) suddenly, in the restaurant, decided to shout "Boobies!" loudly. Upon which his father sternly told him off and then added "you should shout bottoms instead"... which he promptly did. Fortunately we all have the same 3-year-old sense of humour. *sigh* This is what having a son does to you.

Cathy said...

I'm sorry to laugh at your pain...but, LOL!!! So sorry for your boob. *snicker*

JessicaTKC said...

Oh my gosh! That is too funny! Thanks for the laugh. :)

court*knee said...

Found you on SITS.

I love this and I love the fact that you are so brutally honest. I adore blogs that don't hold back for fear of being too edgy or offending someone. Truth is, if you're a blogger, you're going to have critics. Thanks for sharing in such a funny and honest way.