WARNING
I will continue to celebrate motherhood. So if breasts, birth, dilation and mother's milk makes you uncomfortable please consider yourself warned.
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Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Human Pacifier,Your Two Cents

It's time for your two cents. Two Cents is always free, fun and the first Tuesday of every month.

When I first stared blogging nursing my youngest was on the way out and I was sad that she was growing so quickly. Then somewhere between then and now all her signs of self weaning disappeared and that tender bonding feeling become replaced with "Are you done yet?".
Now I find myself caught between my hippy tendency to believe that all things end in their own time and my ever growing disenchantment with nursing a child old enough to unfasten my buttons. I am also feeling guilty for that uncontrollable facial twitch I used to have when any mother mentioned nursing past two. My youngest princess is always shattering my preconceived notions of good parenting. My first child weaned herself and I was delusional enough in my new mommy high to think it was a reflection of my superior mothering skills. I am learning that most of the things I took credit for were just beginners luck.
A survey I saw (sorry I don't remember where) showed an overwhelming percentage of people thought nursing past one year was "creepy". Just months ago I would have agreed. Now I'm thinking "Cut us some slack here people, pretty please".
Please share Your Two Cents or ask for some in the comment box or link up below. Thanks for playing along. Two Cents is your time to give YOUR two cents so be free, be opinionated and play nice.
(Mr. Linky is being tempermental....hmmmm. Mr. Linky Where are you?)


11 comments:

Krystyn said...

I don't think 1 is the magic age. I nursed Izzy until 13 months...when she started talking I decided she was done.

I think when your kids get to this age, the nursing is actually more for us then them. So you have to decide when you are done nursing. She'll be okay either way:)

Mary Teresa said...

I think when it starts making you feel uncomfortable its time. Nursing is supposed to be a special close way of bonding and caring for your child and when you can no longer do it comfortably...its lost its magic. You're no longer secure and kids sense that stuff even if they can't voice it.

Natalie said...

I'm thinking of you during this tough transition time. I have lived enough life to know that regardless of our opinions, until we have lived someone's identical circimstances (which is impossible), we can't know what's best for them. It's obvious you love your child and you only want to do what's best. You are a wonderful mother, you'll know what the right decision is for you and for her.

I have only one strong opinion on this topic, and that is that we should never judge one another, especially as mothers. I took an IMMENSE amount of heat because I never nursed my three children. No one knew it was because my first child was stillborn, and when my milk came in, it ripped my heart right out. It was an added devastation. Some people would think that due to that experience I would have jumped at the chance to nurse the next three. I couldn't do it, every time I tried, all I could picture was my daugter's funeral (when my milk was leaking everywhere). So, you never know why someone makes the choices they do. At times, it could be out of sheer survival. I wanted to enjoy my time with my babies. For me, that meant I couldn't nurse. I was harshly criticized and cruelly judged. So, I say, let's be kind. You do whatever it it that you need to do. If you use your own common sense, and a lot of love, it will all work out just fine. (And, sidenote, I have three healthy, happy kids! :)

p.s. I am sooooo sorry for that long, rambling comment. Please forgive me. You didn't know your post would serve as a psych visit, did you? I think I owe you for a therapy session. Will two cents cover it? ;)

Sassypants Wifey said...

Oh man. Geeze, THIS subject. Well, see apparently we are sharing a boat right now. Tiny is still nursing and talks really well, so she seems even older. We have been cutting down so she doesnt nurse as much as she used to, but we still cant quite kick it just yet. I think part of me is still using it as our preferable birth control method, as my cycle has yet to return, cause who wants to go back to that after almost 4 years of not dealing with it??? I know we are ready for planning the next baby, but I guess it feels like our tiny has grown up so fast. I know the diva is just beyond everything we imagined a 3 year old would be, leaves me clutching to any sign of baby that there is to have. Lame excuses on my part.

I think every mom and kid have their own time. I will do the gradually wean deal until its time to quit, which is quickly approaching. Its sad to a degree, then when they find other ways to soothe, I recall a very relieved feeling. Till the next one, lol.

Great topic!

Heather said...

People have entirely too much to say about everyone else...especially when it comes to parenting. There is no magical age to stop breast feeding, it's whenever you and/or your child is ready to. I think the people passing the most judgement are ones who didn't breast feed and don't know all the hard work it takes or the wonderful bonding it creates between mother and child. They also don't know that sometimes certain children just aren't ready to wean from it...how do you "make" them be ready if they're not? My daughter is 14 months and I miss breast feeding! Good luck hon!

Amy said...

I nursed until my little one barely turned one. I do miss it but I was ready and so was she. I am not sure but I guess Mr. Linky is having a hard day today and not showing up.

Corey~living and loving said...

:) here's a little something I wrote two years ago:

http://livingandlovingeveryminuteofit.blogspot.com/2007/04/you-can-call-me-freak-if-you-want-to.html

can I tell you now that Sugar still nurses for about 5 minutes each night before bed?

yes two years later....you can do the math.

Do I think people get creeped out thinking about it? YES, but I simply do not care. This is my journey with my child. I'm letting her decide when to stop.

now....if it is no longer a part of the journey you want to be on with your child, then that is okay too. Just don't let other people make you feel bad about extended nursing.

Anonymous said...

No judements -- even against yourself! The American Academy of Pediatrrics recommends nursing 1yr. The World Health Organization recommends nursing at least 2 yrs.
I got a lot of heck for continuing to nurse mostly on demand for my daughter who was over 1 but less than 2 when I got pregnant again. She was still nursing 6 times a day! During my 4th month of pregnancy, my supply diminished and I decreased her nursing to 2-3 times a day. Then I got sick and I remember realizing that she had gone 36 hrs without nursing! The next few weeks It hurt to tell her no (only a couple times per day), but I had no milk and if she tried it hurt! she was and is fine, it happened naturally, but quickly and we needed time to adjust.
I miss the way nursing helped when she was sick or hurt!
Oh, she asked the other day and I let her try (it's only been a couple of months) She FORGOT HOW to nurse!
We'll see what happens when her brother starts nursing.

Samantha

Rachel said...

I couldn't wait to be done. Then I was and now I'm not so sure... For starters, my body is back to it's old annoying tricks and that's no fun! I had no idea how many benefits I was enjoying until I was done. So far no beaver tails, so I at least have that going for me....

Natalie - I'm so sorry you had to go through that. Thank you for sharing your experience. :)

Amy said...

I agree with Natalie - No one should judge either way. I left a lactation meeting once in tears. They were not very nice to me and all i was was seeking answers as to why my first child wasn't nursing. There is so many opinions on both sides and you just have to do what is best for you and your child.

Mrs4444 said...

Krystyn's comment mirrors my thoughts, but what do I know... :)