WARNING
I will continue to celebrate motherhood. So if breasts, birth, dilation and mother's milk makes you uncomfortable please consider yourself warned.
Follow at your own risk. You'll find the follow button at the bottom of the side bar.

Monday, May 24, 2010

Turtles, Tornadoes and Depression


The girls have tumbled head first into our tornado and turtle filled new life. Every lightning bug, hummingbird and awe smothered smile makes me miss my husband. I want him here with me. I want to be curled in the crook of his arm, head tucked under his chin and back against his chest while we watch the girls hunt for acorns. I want him to hear the squirrel and rabbit induced squeals of pure glee first hand. This world is so new to them. Hawaii didn't have squirrels, opossums and lightning bugs. June bugs and snakes are mysterious monsters and lightning bugs hold the same magical wonderment as unicorns. Despite the laughter and the joy I can't shake feeling like Dorothy. Where are a set of ruby red slippers when you need them? I'm learning home is where the heart is and my heart is split between our beautiful daughters and hubby. They are proving resilient. They miss their Daddy but they're filling up the empty space with adventure and grandparent hugs. I'll live the year split. Half of my heart here with the girls and half with hubby. I will work my own magic and morph into a two hearted beast miraculously pumping in both Oklahoma and Afghanistan.

I know it's random but don't sass me. Just click above and break out your own bit of random on the Un-Mom
randomtuesday

10 comments:

kneesandpaws said...

Jen,
There are no words to share to add meaning here. You and your family have brought the war closer to me. No longer something happening "over there" in some hazy middle east fiction-land constructed by the media and stories like A Thousand Splendid Suns, it feels real because of your sacrifice. It feels real, frightening, painful and unfair. I found myself praying for peace just so you and the girls did not have to go through this. There is a candle on in my house until he comes home to you.

Jill of All Trades said...

I like the random thoughts and usually do it everyday!

Elizabeth a.k.a. Type A Mommy said...

Great turtle photo! So sorry to hear that you're missing your husband, but you're right, cookies might just take your mind off things!

Thanks so much for stopping by to share my SITS day today, I really appreciate it!

Krystyn said...

I can't even imagine trying to do that. I will be thinking of you guys.

Snarky Belle said...

Thinking of you. The year split is proving to be one of the hardest things I've ever muddled my way through. I want to blog about it, but can't because I know it would only draw in the sharp attacks of others; something I simply no longer have the stomach for. But I'll tell you, there are things about this that I am finding more difficult to face than when we buried our daughter. (Cue the hate mail, and foaming at the mouth.) Reason being, he was by my side throughout that nightmare, he was right there every step during that unbelievable heartache. Now, I feel utterly alone. I never expected it to feel this way. My thought was, "ok, a year away, it's not like anyone's dying and going away forever"...I was oh so naive as to what a year deployment truly is. Maybe none of that makes sense, and as usual, I've rambled in your comment section. I just want you to know, I get it and I'm thinking of you. Big hugs and lots of love!

Snarky Belle said...

Thinking of you. The year split is proving to be one of the hardest things I've ever muddled my way through. I want to blog about it, but can't because I know it would only draw in the sharp attacks of others; something I simply no longer have the stomach for. But I'll tell you, there are things about this that I am finding more difficult to face than when we buried our daughter. (Cue the hate mail, and foaming at the mouth.) Reason being, he was by my side throughout that nightmare, he was right there every step during that unbelievable heartache. Now, I feel utterly alone. I never expected it to feel this way. My thought was, "ok, a year away, it's not like anyone's dying and going away forever"...I was oh so naive as to what a year deployment truly is. Maybe none of that makes sense, and as usual, I've rambled in your comment section. I just want you to know, I get it and I'm thinking of you. Big hugs and lots of love!

♥ Kathy said...

aww I know you miss him but I'm glad the girls are having a great experience!

Tracey - Just Another Mommy Blog said...

I cannot imagine. I suffer the weeks when my own has to be gone for business but a year is such an abstract idea of time to be away... You have my love and support.

bluecottonmemory said...

What a beautiful post!I love your detail - you perfectly recreated what you are living.

My husband has been mostly out of the country or out of town since November - and it is a struggle! Lots of challenges - and facing them alone has at times been staggering! My faith has definitely been put to work. My posts have enabled me to find the beauty and the nobleness in my daily life while he was gone. There are merits to blogging after all!

I want to thank you and your husband for what you are doing for families like me. I know my husband is safe because of the job your husband does. Both of you are heroes to me!

♥Yaya's Mommy ♥ said...

I am your newest follower. WOW I am assuming you make all the gorgeous tutus. WOW!!!! BEAUTIFUL.
Have a wonderful week.