I will continue to celebrate motherhood. So if breasts, birth, dilation and mother's milk makes you uncomfortable please consider yourself warned.
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Thursday, April 7, 2011

The Shutdown

Since hubby is still deployed and we might not be getting paid I've been racking my brain trying to scrape together some extra cash. Selling my body is off the table. There are just some things that should never be marketed as slightly used. So I thought about selling crack instead but I don't even know what crack looks like so there goes plan B. I guess this is what we get for buying into the whole "defending freedom" crap. If only our family had sought a more reputable profession like extortion, bribery, embezzlement or politics in general we might be getting paid. On the bright side I hear the Taliban is very reasonable and promises not to shoot at anyone who is not getting paid to shoot back. Instead of fighting during the government shutdown everyone is just going to sit down together and drink pina coladas. Drinks will be served in fresh coconuts with little umbrellas printed with pictures of Obama and John Boehner scratching their junk. You can purchase your own drink umbrella by sending exorbitant amounts of money to my PayPal account. Now please excuse me while I break open some Ramen Noodles and collect rain water for the children. They still expect to eat. I'm trying to teach them to survive on air and politicians' excuses but they're still whining.