TuTu's Bliss

My Gift to You

2011-12-21T02:21:00.000-08:00

I will not be sending you a Christmas card, handmade bath scrubs, wax candles, holiday letters or chocolate dipped peppermint sticks. I will not be bringing homemade spinach pinwheels and chocolate dipped fruit to your Christmas party. I will not be posting an adorable family photo here or on Facebook. I will not be doing any of these things because "Jesus is the reason for the season" and Jesus wants the truth. The truth is if I duct tape my family long enough for a family portrait I would have a compulsion to photo shop my under eye circles and crop out the princesses 'snot flicking and THAT would be dishonest. If I would ever get my kitchen clean enough to make fuzz free holiday treats I would probably burn them and then spend time unwrapping store bought treats and repackaging them to look homemade and THAT would be dishonest. If I did attempt to write a holiday letter I would be implying that I really think you care and THAT would be dishonest. If you really cared you would already now all my BS and would not need a damn letter. Normally I would say I couldn't come to your Christmas party because I am a neurotic hot mess who rarely leaves her children with nut jobs posing as loving family and friends. That is the honest truth but I also adore my girls and even my hubby no matter how many times I joke about drinking heavily and self medicating. I don't leave them because I really am crazy but I'm crazy about them also. I know one day my girls will grow up and realize that I am a wack job and will run as far and fast as they can. So until they can drive...or reach the deadbolt I plan on spending as much time as we can as a family. However, I can give you the truth. The truth is I wear close toed shoes in Hawaii because my polish is chipped and my ankles are sporting a little leg hair garland to celebrate the season. There is more food on my floor than my table. The only thing I got hubby for Christmas was a vasectomy pamphlet and a subscription to National Geographic and both of those things are kind of for me. What is it about Christmas that makes us work so hard whipping up the perfection? Is it Jesus? Is it that sneaking suspicion that he might peek in on our unembellished lives and think," Wow I went through that whole birth and suffering on the cross thing for this?" Or do we do it to ourselves? Editing and photo shopping our lives to the point that we become perpetual hoop jumpers? This year let's pour some wine from a box and raise our paper cups to a perfectly flawed holiday season. Cheers!

Coral Cake

2011-12-02T23:57:00.000-08:00

Hubby made princess a stunning cake with glowing candy coral by pouring melted sugar over a bucket of ice. It turned out perfect and princess was thrilled. I really don't think there is anything sexier than my man dressed in camo

and coated in powdered sugar.

He doesn't just tolerate our daughters' interest, he embraces them even if it means getting flour on his Army boots.

The best directions for making sugar coral for a candy reef came from Cake Baking Mom and the inspiration came from our oldest daughter's favorite show, Cake Boss. Thank you for making wishes come true!

Intense Video

2011-08-26T12:40:00.000-07:00

I've always told hubby that I would never trade him for another man. You just get the same problems, different man. Most of our agreements are testosterone induced. I have an inability to understand his aversion to flushing and he can't grasp my commitment to finding a true waterproof eyeliner. It was comforting to know that if the back hair in the tub ever got too much to take there was always plan B, Lesbianism. Unfortunately the fierce and talented Deborah Vial shattered my plan B with her latest video. Her video is gritty and shows that wether it comes with a vagina or a penis it still comes with problems. Her voice is amazing and it helped me realize if back hair is the worst of my problems I'm in pretty good shape. So enjoy her voice and haunting video while I go scoop the hair out of the tub drain. You probably want to wait until the kids are in bed for this one!!

P.S: If you are easily offended by same sex couples or on-screen passion then watch it with your eyes closed and dig her voice anyway!!!

Gambling on Homeschooling

2011-08-15T19:55:00.001-07:00

The bad news is the school in our district is known for homeless flashers on the playground and second graders with the ability to spit in feet, not inches. I had the choice of sending princes to a school that should have pepper spray listed on the school supply list or homeschooling her. The great news is that homeschooling is allowing me to skip those pesky math worksheets and teach her something she can actually use later in life, Texas Hold'em. I'll still break out those boring timed tests but they take a back seat to blackjack. Who needs "greater than" and "less than" in the face of real choices like "stay" and "hit me". I even incorporated it into our weekly spelling lesson with words like push, bust, fold, bluff, double and down. Do you think we could hit up Vegas for a little field trip? We would probably run into less nudity and stealing than at our nearest school playground.

As always I am at least 50% serious 100% of the time.

We're Back!

2011-07-06T22:02:00.000-07:00

I went into hiding through most of the deployment. It isn't that joy didn't happen. Our lives did not stop twirling and we even giggled our way through the tough times. The tricky thing about being a military wife is happiness can be guilt coated. It is hard to fully embrace the laughter when every belly laugh is one missed. When it comes down to it moments are best not just lived but shared. Since I couldn't really share those moments with the love of my life I didn't share them with you. I would love to tell you that I made the most of it. The truth is I wallowed in pity for a good portion of the time. We splashed, tickled and cried our way through the year and made it through the deployment one Popsicle at a time. We pushed the sadness back with tootsie rolls, grandparents, caffeine and all access play dough passes. Now we're back together and living life full force. Thank you for your words of encouragement. It was comforting to know that you all were here and just waiting for me to shake the grumpies off and get back to business.

The Shutdown

2011-04-07T21:07:00.000-07:00

Since hubby is still deployed and we might not be getting paid I've been racking my brain trying to scrape together some extra cash. Selling my body is off the table. There are just some things that should never be marketed as slightly used. So I thought about selling crack instead but I don't even know what crack looks like so there goes plan B. I guess this is what we get for buying into the whole "defending freedom" crap. If only our family had sought a more reputable profession like extortion, bribery, embezzlement or politics in general we might be getting paid. On the bright side I hear the Taliban is very reasonable and promises not to shoot at anyone who is not getting paid to shoot back. Instead of fighting during the government shutdown everyone is just going to sit down together and drink pina coladas. Drinks will be served in fresh coconuts with little umbrellas printed with pictures of Obama and John Boehner scratching their junk. You can purchase your own drink umbrella by sending exorbitant amounts of money to my PayPal account. Now please excuse me while I break open some Ramen Noodles and collect rain water for the children. They still expect to eat. I'm trying to teach them to survive on air and politicians' excuses but they're still whining.

2011-02-01T17:29:00.000-08:00

When I prayed for eight inches I should have been more specific!

Oklahoma is a shaken snow globe and this is the perfect time for snow ice cream!Don't forget to stick a clean container outside to collect snow as it falls. Is it safe to eat snow ice cream? Probably not but it isn't safe to sled, microwave, talk on your cell phone or eat non-organic fruit either.

Simple Snow Ice Cream Recipe:

1 gallon snow
1 cup white sugar
1 tablespoon vanilla extract
2 cups milk

Gourmet Snow Ice Cream Recipe:

1 (12 fluid ounce) can condensed milk, (Eagle Brand)
1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1/4 cup white sugar
1 gallon snow
** Mix sugar and milk/eagle brand then chill before drizzling over snow. Or mound snow into cups like snow cones and just drizzle with the milk mixture. I miss Aoki's in Hawaii right now. Our entire front lawn looks like a giant shaved iced.

Recipe for a Natural Glow

2011-01-17T21:42:00.000-08:00

I have never seen winter skin and chapped lips look so good! I'm going to start trying my daughters' recipe for a glowing complexion. I'm tossing my bronzer, blush and foundation for snowballs and dirt. I'm trading my make-up routine for snow angels and freeze tag. I'm tossing the lip plumper and just licking my lips while facing into the wind!

Thankful Things and Other Stuff

2010-11-22T23:50:00.000-08:00

I am thankful for my six year old despite her sudden oral fixation with all things smooth and shiny.

I am thankful I did not run to the ER in hysterics with my daughter by the ankles screaming, "HELP! HELP! SHE SWALLOWED A $#@*! Pebble".

I am thankful for my mother and her long reassuring lists of crap I ate as a small and "not so small" child

I am thankful that most glass pebbles are under 2cm in diameter with smooth edges.

I am thankful that the Internet has detailed instructions on poo searches and pebble retrieval.

I am thankful for the long handled wooden salad spoon I used to search and seize the pebble from a pile of floating poo.

Now YOU can be thankful you aren't being served salad at my Thanksgiving dinner.

What?! It's a REALLY good spoon! Do you expect me to just throw it away?!

Check out the Real Housewives of Oklahoma for some fun "Follow Me Back Tuesday"

Terry Jones is NOT my friend

2010-09-08T12:14:00.000-07:00

I have no respect for people who pick fights they are not willing and capable of finishing. Terry Jones will NOT be in Afghanistan to put out the fire he starts. I won't have time to burn books on Sept. 11th. I will be too busy sending love and prayers to my husband. He doesn't have the luxury of hiding behind a lighter and letting others take the heat. It is easy to start a fire. It takes true courage to brave the flames and put the fire out. Terry Jones is not a hero. He is not the voice of America. Yes, we are a military family. However, we still fight to greet the day with love in our hearts. I am thinking of all of you with love in my heart regardless of your religon or where you were born. I am hoping your child lives a life of love and respect regardless if their bedtime story comes from the Koran or Bible. No child deserves to live a life of fear and hate. My heart is open to you and my lighter is down.

This is Depressing

2010-09-01T21:52:00.000-07:00

If you're modest avert your eyes!!

It's official, the local insects are getting more action in two minutes than I'll get all year. On the upside I don't have to shave my legs until hubby comes home on leave! Just imagine how much I'm saving on razor blades, creams and wax! Gillette will probably start to see a drop in profits now that I don't even have to shave below the knee.

A Birth

2010-06-15T21:20:00.000-07:00

She smacked into our window and then gave birth right under the window sill.

What mother can't relate to being smacked silly into motherhood?

Lost. Disoriented. Confused. Frightened.

Some fly away, wings or no wings.

Click below to visit Seven Clown Circus and bust open a whole bag of wordful excitement.

Play On

2010-06-07T23:45:00.000-07:00

This week's theme

is Play. In our house if isn't messy, wiggly or wild it isn't fun.

You can play along too over at I ♥ faces !

To the Rescue

2010-06-06T22:16:00.001-07:00

Who needs prescription medication when you have your very own set of superheroes?

Now what should I call these little heroes and what powers do they possess?

Turtles, Tornadoes and Depression

2010-05-24T22:17:00.000-07:00

The girls have tumbled head first into our tornado and turtle filled new life. Every lightning bug, hummingbird and awe smothered smile makes me miss my husband. I want him here with me. I want to be curled in the crook of his arm, head tucked under his chin and back against his chest while we watch the girls hunt for acorns. I want him to hear the squirrel and rabbit induced squeals of pure glee first hand. This world is so new to them. Hawaii didn't have squirrels, opossums and lightning bugs. June bugs and snakes are mysterious monsters and lightning bugs hold the same magical wonderment as unicorns. Despite the laughter and the joy I can't shake feeling like Dorothy. Where are a set of ruby red slippers when you need them? I'm learning home is where the heart is and my heart is split between our beautiful daughters and hubby. They are proving resilient. They miss their Daddy but they're filling up the empty space with adventure and grandparent hugs. I'll live the year split. Half of my heart here with the girls and half with hubby. I will work my own magic and morph into a two hearted beast miraculously pumping in both Oklahoma and Afghanistan.

I know it's random but don't sass me. Just click above and break out your own bit of random on the Un-Mom

The Winner and The Warning

2010-04-30T20:26:00.000-07:00

And the winner is...

But I must warn you she is one of those adorable pregnant women that is all cute and no chunk. In her pics she is all smiles no queasy frown or dark circles. She's one of those pregnant glow type of women. I had more of a pregnant residue than a glow during my pregnancy. So consider yourself warned. You just might forget the cravings, the gas and the heart burn. You might remember those baby kicks, the internal hiccups and see her rocking her cute maternity clothes and get baby fever. She's also funny and very fabulous so if your blog roll is already busting at the seams and you can't squeeze in one more single wonderful blog then don't visit. Step away from the keyboard or you'll be hooked.

Thank you all for joining in and supporting handmade creations!

Thank you KNEES AND PAWS for letting me share your wonderful and unique creations with my bloggy friends.

Rifle Hunter Ann

2010-04-26T22:51:00.000-07:00

Today we hit up Bass Pro Shop, Oklahoma's Disney World, and I found Ann. She is complete with a substantial rack and a deer stand. Who needs rides, Cinderella or Mickey Mouse? At Bass Pro Shop you can snipe a stuffed fox and two armadillos for a mere fifty cents. The big shocker is there are no long lines and you can walk out with your very own Rifle Hunter Ann for less than the cost of Disney World admission.

Oklahoma has a school with cows, sheep and it's very own barn.

I've been away from home so long I hit the brakes in the middle of town, rolled down the windows and started shouting out the window, "Look! Look! A llama!!".

I even forgot their were still places you can pick up flowers, duct tape, Slim Jims and a dozen live baby chicks dyed in various shades of pastel.

This random post was inspired by Random Tuesday...

Before you rush off to book your flight to Oklahoma please enter the Knees and Paws giveaway in the post below!!

Extra Entry Alert

2010-04-25T21:01:00.000-07:00

We spent our last days on Oahu taking pictures of our favorite wild animals.

This picture was snapped with the help of a serious zoom lens. Please remember to treat these gentle giants with respect and give them some space.

These monkey ears and hands were too much fun! Enter the giveaway for a chance to

win snow leopard ears with white centers, matching paws, matching knees and a cute leopard adorned tote to store it in.

To Enter:

1. First CLICK HERE to visit her Etsy shop. Don't forget to come back here and let me know your favorite item available at Knees and Paws.

2. Then for five additional entries post about the giveaway and send people my way to share in the fun. Be sure to post the link to your giveaway post in the comment section.
3. Check back often for new ways to score additional entries!

This contest ships within the United States only and ends April 28th. Please make sure I can contact you and let you know if you won! GOOD LUCK!!

For an extra entry comment below to let the designer of KNEES AND PAWS know what you would like to see in her shop. Any ideas? What is your child's favorite animal? I think a panda bear set would be adorable.

Child Taming

2010-04-22T01:31:00.001-07:00

How do you subdue over 20 wild children hopped up on sugar and excitement without tranquilizer darts? Call in reinforcements!

Create your own video slideshow at animoto.com.

A very special thank you to Color Whims here on Oahu. They dove into our bit of Chaos head first. They even sent emails to my shy princess to prepare her and build her excitement. They also had a special talent for putting each child at ease. The balloons were out of this world. My only regret was I didn't snag one for myself. He even did giraffes! He made balloons that would literally devour that standard little balloon dog you normally see. I'm still wondering how in the world you get balloons inside of balloons??

The face painter was so gifted! My little wild cat didn't wash her face for TWO DAYS! Notice the sleep smudges on her kitty nose right under her happy eyes?

So thank you Color Whims . Our Princess Kitty was thrilled. We couldn't have asked for more amazing people to share such a special day with. Thank you for a party that will live in her memory forever. If you're looking for birthday party entertainment on Oahu we must say they are puuuuurfect!

Hope to see you over at the other Jen's blog for...

Click it. You know you want to.

Fiercely Feminine

2010-04-15T12:35:00.000-07:00

Proving at the tender age of six that a girl really can have it all!! Be free. Be wild. Be fancy.

A very special thank you to the designer of Cheeky Chic Baby . She custom made this bit of fancy for our wild little kitty. It is the kind of quality dress you rarely get these days. It has held up to all the tree climbing, sprinkler jumping and dirt digging our princess twirls it through. If you are in the Southern California area you can visit Flower Fields in Carlsbad the weekend of April 17-18 for the Cheeky Chic Baby spring trunk show!

Pictures are worth a Thousand Words so click below to check out A Thousand Words Thursday!

Let Them Make Cake

2010-04-13T23:39:00.000-07:00

Scrap the Easy-Bake Oven and go for the real deal. Just let them make cake. A flour coated, sugar dusted and icing smeared bit of happiness. This is our cake artist in training. I had grand plans we were going to mold, pour and bake together but her Daddy stole my thunder. It turns out he is her official cake buddy and I got stuck with cleaning duty.

The trick to a fun cake is fondant. You can make your own or cheat great cake with boxed cake mix and ready made fondant. We snagged ours at Wal-Mart in the baking/crafting section by the wedding goodies. Rew is a fondant sculpting natural. All the hours she spends hiding play dough in the cracks of the couch finally paid off. They practiced for weeks before her actual birthday. She sketched out her cake design, rolled the fondant and whipped up butter cream icing. On her birthday she was ready to create the ultimate cake and when I saw what they managed my draw dropped. You can't create this kind of magic with an Easy-Bake...

We had a little help from our Fairy Cakemother..
Two Sweet Cakes
She sent us the soft and edible fondant pearls and a pack of sugar cats. They were just the spark Princess Rew needed to fire up her dreams. It made glamming the cake up as easy as squirt and stick!

It's time for Wordful Wednesday!!

Mommy and Me Monday

2010-04-12T18:32:00.000-07:00

This picture is a great example of the crucial difference a great crop makes. A little further out and you would have caught a better glimpse of our fabulous ears and the hair on my chin. For obvious reasons I prefer the close-up. I like to keep my chin fuzz away from the camera and focus on my daughter's blue eyes and kitty smirk.

Hosted by Krystyn

Dig the ears and paws? You can get your own complete snow leopard set complete with fuzzy knees by entering the giveaway....

To Enter:
1. First CLICK HERE to visit her Etsy shop. Don't forget to come back here and let me know your favorite item available at Knees and Paws.
2. Then for five additional entries post about the giveaway and send people my way to share in the fun. Be sure to post the link to your giveaway post in the comment section.
3. Check back often for new ways to score additional entries!
This contest ships within the United States only and ends April 28th. Please make sure I can contact you and let you know if you won! GOOD LUCK!!

As promised...

2010-04-09T04:16:00.000-07:00

Once Rew was out of NICU and in my arms I was your typical neurotic mom. I analyzed feces, weight and sleep problem. I memorized averages and plotted her on the imaginary scale of progress. She grew into a bright, lanky and contemplative baby. I listened to doctors when they said she was failing to thrive. I let myself be convinced her freakish attention span was not a good sign. The bony knees I loved to tickle were a sign of my failure as her mother. As suggested I replaced her carrots, ham and whole grain breads with Pediasure and everything buttered. I charted everything she ate. She ran. She played. She grew taller and started walking on legs engineered more for a runway model than a toddler. We enjoyed life until the scheduled doctor visits. Every tests with a normal result prompted longer and more invasive tests. Finally my sweet toddler had so many tests she began offering up her arm to the needle without being prompted and I put my foot down. I was thin. Her father was thin. She was ours down to the very tips of her sharp little collar bone.

I learned that doctors specialize in medicine and I specialize in my daughter. I started trusting less in books, doctors and people with more experience with children than me. I started trusting in myself and my child. When I was pregnant with our second daughter my doctor was dismissive of my thyroid condition. My oldest daughter had already paid the price for my lack of confidence in myself and I refused to make the same mistakes. I insisted that my fatigue was not just a regular result of my pregnancy. When my doctor continued to ignore my pleas I requested to see a specialist. I made it harder to ignore me than to just fill out the request. The very day I was referred to a specialist her office called and doubled my current dose of Levothyroxine. The nurse urged me to fill the prescription that day because based on the same test results my regular obstetrician had my levels were low enough to put my pregnancy at risk. I was fired as a patient. My doctor dropped me like a hot potato. Our second daughter was born via VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean) and we were both home healthy within 24 hours after birth. She is dainty just like her sister. I have had pediatricians push for tests because she is not growing at an average weight but I refuse the tests. When she has vaccinations she fights the needle with an unrelenting ferocity that I love. Next time you have to pin your child down for a vaccine treasure the fact that it happens so infrequently they have it in them to fight. I assure you seeing a child's spirit broken by countless testing, poking and prodding is worse than a spirited battle with a healthy child.

There are still amazing and wonderful doctors that consider the health of your family a team effort. A special thank you to those fabulous doctors who realize patients are more than tests results and chicken scratches on a medical chart.

**If you are a pregnant woman with a thyroid condition please know that your needs change with pregnancy. A pregnant woman's targeted levels are different. I have yet to meet a regular obstetrician that was even aware of that. During my second pregnancy I lucked into an endocrinologist very familiar with the impact thyroid conditions have on conception and pregnancy. She worked closely with my new obstetrician to ensure that my second delivery was completely uneventful.

CLICK HERE

to enter the giveaway to win a complete set of your own ears, knees and paws!

A Giveaway!!

2010-04-05T00:23:00.000-07:00

Knees and Paws are my daughter's new favorite thing. We're celebrating this great find with a giveaway. The winner receives adorable snow leopard ears with white centers, matching paws, matching knees and a cute leopard adorned tote to store it in. This complete set is small and perfect for younger children. Need a bigger set or another animal?

The designer of KNEES AND PAWS is a talented woman who loves to hear special requests and make dreams come true.

(This puuurfect birthday moment made possible by Knees and Paws)

To Enter:

1. First CLICK HERE to visit her Etsy shop. Don't forget to come back here and let me know your favorite item available at Knees and Paws.

This contest ships within the United States only and ends April 28th. Please make sure I can contact you and let you know if you won! GOOD LUCK!!

Six Little Words..

2010-04-03T01:31:00.000-07:00

May I borrow some good Karma?

Dare to sum up your life in six words or less? Click below for the details and link up.

SHAME ON YOU!

2010-04-01T12:53:00.001-07:00

To the horrible wicked people who tried to steal my daughter's cat, SHAME ON YOU. Licorice flew ahead of us to Oklahoma. My daughter was anxious but the American Airline Employees in cargo assured her they would take great care of sweet Licorice. My mother and sister went to pick her up and caught two people trying to make off with our cat. They were confrontational and insisted she was their cat despite the kennel marked clearly with our name. My Sis snagged Licorice and the American Airline employee sorted it out. The thieves booked it out of there with a plain black and gray striped tabby cat instead. They tried to pretend like they mistook our striking long haired cream cat with blue eyes marked with our name as their short haired alley cat.

On the flip side a kind man helped me and my wonderful friend find the cargo facility for Delta and American Airlines. Not only did he give us directions he hopped in the car with us to make sure we got it right. He stole nothing, maimed no one and took ten dollars for his trouble only after we insisted. I'm also thankful for my fierce sister who wouldn't let some burly man make off with her little niece's cat. For every two wicked people there really are a million people who would move heaven and earth to help those in need.
WE LOVE YOU ALL!!!

Bringing You Up to Speed

2010-03-25T02:02:00.000-07:00

There are several big revelations, life changing moments and small struggles I need to reveal to you. However, I can't do that until you know a few things about me. I'm going to begin with my mistrust of doctors and borderline loathing of modern medicine. When I was pregnant with Rew I began showing signs of miscarriage. I found a very kind and proactive doctor. He was preceded by a long list of nurses and doctors that spouted off reassurances that nearly half of women miscarriage they just often miscarriage before they even know they are pregnant. Their idea of treatment was a tough love approach to prepare me for the inevitable. It certainly did not stop the spotting from getting more frequent and heavier. Luckily the ever elusive experienced and compassionate doctor came into our lives. He stuck around long enough to find out I was not a statistic but a young woman with a hypothyroid condition. I started taking levothyroxine and the spotting stopped. We moved to another state and I was transferred to the care of another doctor. This doctor was dismissive of my thyroid condition and failed to monitor my levels despite the fact that I was pregnant and newly diagnosed. Rew was born by emergency c/s and spent the first week in ICU with Tachycardia. Her heart was beating so fast they were worried her heart wasn't even having time to pump blood throughout her body. I took her home and spent those first baby moments counting her heartbeats and checking her for blue discolored legs. I wondered if the human heart only had so many beats in a lifetime. I watched her breathing and worried she was ticking away. After countless specialist and only a few short months her heart slowed down and so did mine. Her Tachycardia was just a brief side effect of my thyroid condition. My levels were not properly monitored and she paid the price. I wish I had known more about my thyroid condition before she was born. I would have been more proactive. I trusted that my doctor with his years of experience and education in medicine knew best. The birth of our second child sealed the deal for me. I'll share the scoop on that gem next. Soon you will be caught up on my past so we can dig into the present.

You Should Know

2010-03-23T03:25:00.000-07:00

I'll be flying soon and my homemade playdough and crumpled foil candy wrappers are sure to be tagged as bomb making materials. I hope I have Internet access while I await trial. I know what you're thinking. Why not skip the playdough and the candy and just fly over eight hours with two small children with nothing but a plane full of people trying to sleep? If you have ever flown with or next to a small child then you understand why prison doesn't sound half bad.

P.S: I will be announcing the PUUUUURFECT giveaway soon enough and I have a new favorite thing that I keep forgetting to join in on..

Hosted by Krystyn Yes. I know it is Tuesday already. I need someone to poke me with a stick on Friday and remind me to pin my children down, put on lip gloss and figure out the timer on the camera so I can finally join in. Krystyn is inspiring moms to step out from behind the camera and in front of it. Blogggy moms tend to be as elusive and camera shy as the Loch Ness Monster.

Great Movie Alert

2010-03-20T04:04:00.001-07:00

Whip It was fabulous! It has all the important life lessons a girl needs to learn...

1. Do what makes you happy.

2. Unless what makes you happy is a douchey boy posing as a nice guy. Don't do that

even if it makes you temporarily happy.

3. If you forget rule #2 reread rule #1 and thank your lucky stars you have real friends to help you elbow your way through your mistakes.

If you are expecting reviews on new releases you came to the wrong place. If it isn't out at the video store I haven't seen it. I watch movies in the comfort of my own home with complete control of the pause and the mute button. A mom has to be vigilant on dirty word patrol because children hear everything even when they are curled up in their own bedrooms and supposedly sleeping. I'm so used to watching movies on low volume that I think the last time I went to the Movie Theatre my ears bled.

Color Coding Children

2010-03-16T02:12:00.000-07:00

I have decided children should be color coded by level of difficulty. That way the next time my child throws a tantrum in public I can push through with the same pride and tenacity of a skier tackling a black diamond. I will look at the glaring fellow moms and their little bunny slope children and shrug, "I love a challenge". It's like finishing of a boxed mix cake with canned icing versus struggling over a five tiered wedding cake from scratch. Shouldn't level of difficulty count for something?

I would love to go over my color coding system in great detail but it is a patent pending design so I better keep it hush hush. ;)

Optimistic Fragments

2010-03-12T01:51:00.000-08:00

So I found a half eaten candy cane balanced precariously on the edge of the toilet rim in a pool of sticky pink candy cane juice. Was Wild Thing using it as a stir sick or a dip stick? What are the odds she was just stirring the pot and not sucking toilet water off the candy cane?

The bright side:

1. My daughter and toilet are both minty fresh and protected against Gingivitis.

2. We have bleach free non-toxic toilet water since I never get around to bleaching the bathroom.

3. I am building her immunity while other parents are wasting time building their children's vocabulary.

4. The random sticky goo that adhered me to the toilet seat is no longer a mystery.

5. Toilet drinkers turn out great pics even with their ears on backwards and extra sass!!

A special thank you to the owner of Knees and Paws
for the adorable snow leopard ears with matching knees and paws. Click Here to learn all about her fun mascot contest and a chance for your very own knees and paws!!

Now it's your turn to break out your fragments!! Click on the button above to link up.

Fun Party Invite or Favor

2010-03-11T00:40:00.000-08:00

This is an idea for easy and inexpensive party invites or favors.

You will need:
Postcards or card stock
Ribbon lined Alligator hair clips (Suckers will work also)

Use a box knife to make parallel cuts of equal length on your card. They can be horizontal or vertical. Now just squeeze the clip open and weave it through the slit. Punch a hole in the upper corner and tie it to a balloon. It is the perfect fun little party favor or invitation.

Need a little help lining alligator clips? http://www.girlythingsbows.com/ is one of my favorite sites for very simple and basic instructions. The instructions listed across the top of the site are in alphabetical order. Once you have a lined clip you can glue on anything from crystals to buttons. My favorite are satin roses. Or you can slide in suckers in the slit instead and just tie ribbon to the stick.

I had the card featured in my example custom printed by Vista Print, http://www.vistaprint.com/. They are always having free offers. I only had to pay shipping. I recieved over 100 small postcards. I also use Vista Print to custom print thank you cards, care instructions, personalized invitations and business cards.

Hatching Cats

2010-03-09T01:53:00.000-08:00

Our backyard is a sanctuary for magical cats. Angel kittens, glitter pumas and fairy tigers are born here every day. They hatch from eggs and chip away at their shell with their glittering claws. They are timid, shy and slow to walk. Here in our safe haven they get the the attention, patience and ummmm...

gentle persuasion they need.

Note to My Neighbors:

Laying tiger, puma and angel kitty eggs is not easy. So the next time you see me squatting in the yard and laying eggs will you please stare less. Egg laying is not an easy business and requires deep concentration and yoga like flexibility. My pesky kittens refuse to hatch if I do not display proper egg legging maneuvers. I'm getting really sick of having to go over this again and again for the police report.

Love, Mama Kitty

Tsunami Saturday

2010-02-27T15:24:00.000-08:00

It's looking like a case of premature evacuation. We're thrilled, relieved and overstocked. We'll be giving away bottled water, batteries and gallon jars of bulk Mayo on the street corners of Oahu.

Our hearts and prayers go out to the people in Chile. Hoping your loved ones are safe in your arms wherever you may be. I'll be holding my love bugs as long as they'll let me.

Don't Touch My Weenie!!

2010-02-23T21:01:00.001-08:00

The American Academy of Pediatrics is recommending a complete weenie redesign. Wiener chokage is the culprit behind 17 percent of food-related asphyxiations in children under 10. However, our weak economy can not endure a wiener fiasco. Wiener workers will be forced to shoulder the added cost of a wiener redesign or wiener warnings. Jobs will be lost. Salaries will be cut. It will be a dark day in American history, "The Day the Wiener died". We can prevent this. You don't need to sign petitions, write your senator or bribe a pediatrician. To stop the wiener fiasco you must spread this one fundamental truth...
If you have a problem weenie just cut it to pieces! Halves will not due. Chop. Chop. Chop.

Wiener Warriors Unite!!
Click Here for the informative wiener article.

Birthday Madness!

2010-02-16T00:20:00.000-08:00

After nearly six years of thumbing my nose at extravagent birthday parties I am taking the plunge. A guest list that includes over twenty wild children and an actual party theme complete with games!!

Her dream party includes face painting and balloon twisting. She's getting face painting and a homemade pin the tail on the cat poster.

Her theme is cats and cats. She would love a cake modeled after her own cat with fairy wings and covered in pearls made by The Cake Boss.

She is getting a purple and pink cake sprinkled with edible fondant pearls. I have discovered some amazing Etsy Birthday fairies to help make her day magical!!

My Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Year

2010-02-08T01:41:00.000-08:00

I started by nicking the car, then had my wisdom teeth cut out, had the flu twice, took hubby to the Emergency Room, took baby wild to the Emergency Room, the truck broke down and we found out hubby will probably be deploying to a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad place. Is it 2011 yet? And does anyone have any tips on how to break a five year old from sucking on her germy little fingers?
P.S: Please don't worry. We are well enough. Nothing time and a membership to the wine of the month club won't fix.

Who needs answers?

2010-01-30T04:11:00.000-08:00

Parenting can be a confidence crusher. There is nothing like an inquisitive five year old to make you realize how little you know about your own world. I just try to remember true teaching provides more questions than answers. What is the best, hardest or funniest question you ever heard from a child. Answer optional. ;)

How do I look?

2010-01-20T00:32:00.001-08:00

Say what you want about Heidi Montag but she is one tough cookie. She rocked those before and after photographs. I didn't look as hot post op. Now maybe I would have looked better if I walked out with a new nose and bigger boobs instead of three less teeth.

I decided to show you the ugly. I think I would rather share nude pictures of myself ten years ago than this little gem. However, I think it is good to see the bad and the ugly. No Botox or virtual wrinkle remover. Maybe if we would would fess up more often then girls in their early twenties wouldn't offer their bodies up to plastic surgeons like lumps of clay.
The swellings gone but I still hurt and I only had my wisdom teeth removed! Simple in and out procedure my a*$! I would rather have a baby. You walk out with something to show for your pain and the drugs are better. I can't even begin to imagine the pain people endure from plastic surgery procedures. If you're in your twenties and baby free listen up... You are gorgeous. You are at your peak. Save your money, skip the pain and take your hot self out for a drink!

Support Issues

2010-01-07T12:57:00.001-08:00

I'm not sure if I need a new bra or a produce sack.

I think I'll just head to the produce aisle and ask my fellow shoppers, "Does this sack make my breasts look perky?".

And the winner is..

2010-01-04T23:02:00.000-08:00

Charlene! Click on the button below to tell her congrats and kiss up. If you become her friend maybe she'll share her new chocolate stash and let you have a peak at her Santa. You can snag one of her funny buttons while you're there too. Don't you love it?

I hope these treats I'm sending her won't mess with her balance. I think I'll just send her an equal sized box of Caramacs for each hand just to be safe.

Thank you for entering and sharing in my little bite of paradise!!

GIVEAWAY LAST CALL!!

2010-01-03T20:02:00.000-08:00

This is the last call for the Aloha giveaway!! I will be adding a last minute treat, chocolate covered coffee beans. And a special something for the prankster...a postcard from you with a personal message mailed to your address of choice. Make a friend or family member think you skipped town and headed for paradise!

Please Note: I will not mail it to anyone that has a restraining order against you.

You will get this and all the goodies mentioned in the last posts. Just comment to enter and cross your fingers! The contest ends whenever I roll out of bed in the morning and draw the winner. GOOD LUCK!!

A New Year and New Prizes!

2010-01-02T02:12:00.000-08:00

A Hawaiian Host Chocolate Sampler of my favorite treats. You'll get a mix of Caramacs, Toffeemacs, MacNut and chocolate covered macadamia nuts!! Dieters beware! These are the most delicious treats, ever!!

AND
Li Hing Mui Gummies and your own pack of Ling Hing Mui Powder!
Li Hing Mui is a sweet, salty, and sour flavored powder.It's perfect for martinis, margaritas, sprinkled on popcorn, fruit. You can even use it for Li Hing Shortbread Cookies or Li Hing rock candy!

Prizes already include Sexy Santa, macadamia nuts, Kona Coffee and a rice press for making your own musubi.

Just comment to enter! The more comments, the more entries.

THE BIG SURPRISE BONUS:

If you win and you posted about the giveaway and linked your friends and readers here then I will add a very extra special prize as a Thank You and give you an extra entry. Just let me know you did it! Don't you love surprises?

This Santa is Hot!!

2009-12-31T01:43:00.001-08:00

I love Santa in Hawaii. He is a surfing-turtle riding- ukulele playing stud. So, I am adding this cute little Santa ornament to the Aloha giveaway. This Santa is an obvious risk taker who likes

living on the edge. Isn't he irresistible?

Just comment by Jan 3rd and consider yourself entered. An entry for every post you comment on. Prizes added daily. We're up to Kona coffee, macadamia nuts, a rice press and a beach bound Santa ornament. More coming soon!

Dear Anonymous,

2009-12-30T02:32:00.000-08:00

Seriously, I don't need enough "energy" to satisfy the housekeeper and nanny. I REALLY don't need to see any pics of anyone under a size 6 with breasts fit for a Macy's Day float or over size six for that matter. Thanks anyway. If you popped over thinking this was your kind of place you took a SERIOUS wrong turn. I don't need your prescriptions, your dating services or links to women with more plastic than a Tupperware party. I would rather have actual links to Tupperware. Loved, loved the old fashion Tupperware salt shakers. If you can prescribe me a housekeeper or a Nanny then no need to hide out in the comment box. Just tell me what color of pill gets me a personal chef, cures gas and eliminates premature laundry accumulation? I'll be sure to ask my doctor if that pill is right for me. If he says no then I'll just get another doctor!

P.S: Dear Anonymous, consider this is your eviction notice. Now pack your SPAM and get out of my comment box.

In the spirit of SPAM HERE is a great Musubi Recipe and tutorial. It is all the rage here and a very simple and portable meal on the go.

Extra Tip: The spam can makes a great rice mold if you don't have the press. Or win my Aloha giveaway and you'll get a rice press in your Aloha prize package!!

You can also check out THESE musubi inspired Etsy items for fun! I think the musubi washcloth set and scrubbers are too cute. Don't forget to comment now until Jan 3rd to enter the Aloha Giveaway. The giveaway will keep growing. So far there are macadamia nuts, Kona coffee and now a rice press for your very own sushi or musubi!

Just Fake it!!

2009-12-29T01:07:00.001-08:00

I don't make icing sweetened with organic apple juice. When the kids are screaming instead of whipping out my superior parenting skills I whip out my emergency marshmallow stash. Don't even get me started on my new bra and faux pedicures. Do you ever fake being fabulous? My New Year's resolution is to fake it more often. If I can shed my Martha complex I just might have more time for this....

and this...

(This moment is courtesy of icing in a can. It is fabulous and it makes me look oh so Martha. I fill cones 2/3 full with boxed cake mix and bake in a cup cake pan. Then squirt on the icing so it looks like soft serve ice cream. VOILA! And in the true spirit of faking it I must confess that I am not a gourmet genius. The recipe is on the back of the cone box)

I think I will start on my New Year's resolution early! I'm off to buy some Spanx. First I'm going to splash a little cleaner in the sink so it smells like I scrubbed the house.

Every confession in my comment box gets you an entry in the oh so fabulous Aloha giveaway!!
Macadamia nuts, Kona coffee and more could all be yours! Just make sure I can reach you if you win! Last day to enter will be Sunday, January 3rd.

And BTW if the Spanx doesn't work I'm just going to laugh my butt off and I think I will start here..

Christmas Traditions?

2009-12-01T02:17:00.000-08:00

My grandmother had a tiny thumbnail sized elf hat. We would find it at Christmas in shoes and under the sofa. It was always moving. It belonged to a shifty little elf that always popped in around Thanksgiving and couldn't manage to keep his hat on. We were always hunting for him. He was Santa's spy and when we were naughty he would rush off to keep Santa posted. The hat was eventually lost forever but the sweet memory remains.

So next to Santa's cookies will be a tiny package. Inside will be a very tiny pair of shoes for our Christmas elf this year. We are having them custom made for the elf's curly toes.

Where does a girl go for shoes under 2inches and fit for Santa's helper? I called on Etsy.com and posted a custom request. Several sellers contacted me with wonderful ideas and jumped at the chance to be part of our tradition. Princess has decided our Christmas elf is a velvet loving, sparkle diva so we chose FaerySpell Creations . Everything in the shop looks like it was gathered from dreams and spun into reality. We can't wait to see what the artist comes up with.

A different designer, blue flame , offered to do a pair of elf shoes in green leather. I am so in-love with the idea I might buy another pair of elf shoes. An elf can never have too many shoes! Thank you to everyone on Etsy that was willing to help us add an extra dash of magic to our holidays for years to come! I loved looking at all your wonderful creations.

What unique, fun or sweet thing do you do as a family?

This Can't Be Good

2009-11-29T02:39:00.000-08:00

This week Diva Baby put her hands on my chest and said clear as day,

" Uh Oh! Mommy titty fall down".

Great! Now there is one more thing I have to try to pick up and put back where it goes. I also find it remarkable that the little angel only knows ten words and still managed to string together that little gem in a store full of people. I'm off to search the yellow pages for plastic surgeons. Wishing you perky breasts and self cleaning floors!!!

Faux Birthday

2009-11-24T01:11:00.000-08:00

Daddy was called away to Japan so we whipped together a Faux Birthday Celebration for Diva before he left. She had her very own personal chauffeur to go with her new ride. A girl can't turn faux two without a cool dune-buggy that goes from 0-5mph in 0.2 seconds. We skipped the Barbie Escalade and went with the Power Wheels Stinger XS. Even though it isn't pink Big Sis drives it like she stole it. The Velcro seat belts just don't cut it. I thought about strapping Diva to the seat with duct tape but the neighbors might call the cops. She kept wanting to play Micheal J. Fox and car surf on the hood like Teen Wolf.

Ladybug, Ladybug!

2009-11-06T09:43:00.001-08:00

That is not just a ladybug in her hands. Beneath the ladybug, past the dirt under her nails and snuggled in the cracks of her skin is the future. The future is just like a tiny winged thing. It can not be grasped, manipulated or pinned down. It must rest in cupped palms, free to fly away.

Visit Candid Carrie's for photo fun.

Another great place for photography and fun stories is ..

Hosted by Cecily and Emily

Kindergarten Survival

2009-11-05T13:04:00.000-08:00

Thank you for all your amazing two cents. Hopefully, with all your advice Princess will look more relaxed in next year's school picture! Many of you have asked about her teacher. Her and her teacher have not clicked. I do not think that the teacher is rude or improper. However, she is stressed. Here in Hawaii they just cut over two weeks of class time from the school schedule to balance the budget. Teachers are scrambling to make up for the lost class time and still reach their goals. Here in Hawaii kindergarten is the new first grade. By the end of this semester Princess is expected to be able to start reading, identify her letters, several words and numbers. The tricky part is they determine her knowledge with a test. It is not enough that she knows it or demonstrates proficiency in class. She must be able to regurgitate the answers within a set time limit on command. It is additional stress for the students and the teachers. Time that used to be devoted to bonding, playing and nurturing a love of knowledge is now filled with letter drills and worksheets. My main fear is that she loses her love of learning. She used to sit for book after book. She devoured literature and science. Like most children her life was an endless question. All the worksheets in the world are not a substitute for play. A passion for learning is spun from laughter and adventure. I am struggling to help my imaginative fairy princess thrive in an environment that has little room left for magic.

If you are struggling with the same issue or what the whole scoop please stalk my comment box on This Post . It is full of wonderful advice from some of my favorite bloggy friends. Feel free to link up and ask for some two cents of your very own or share some.

Today is the day for...

Candy Detox

2009-11-02T00:12:00.000-08:00

Whisker smudged and Candy smeared

We're coming off a sugar induced candy high. I hope your Halloween was full of laughter and sweetness.

Two Cents Tuesday is headed your way? Are you ready to dish out all the good advice no one has the good sense to ask you for? If you want to join in and for a complete list of details and FAQ on Two Cents just Click Here

This time I will be begging for advice instead of dishing it out.

Maybe this week we can help each other solve our personal problems. Let's tackle world peace NEXT month.

A little help here..

2009-11-01T23:35:00.000-08:00

It's time for Two Cents Tuesday. This is the day you can dish out all that great advice no one has the good sense to ask you for. Bring it on! Need some advice? Ask and you shall receive.

New to Two Cents? Just click below for all the details...

Princess has started school and each day she is increasingly afraid. She has always been an old soul but school has pushed her from calm to withdrawn. Princess rarely gets in trouble but is so worried about making her teacher angry that she comes home in tears. At the conference her teacher showed a general interest and concern. I was optimistic. We talked about ways to ease her anxiety in school. Then she insinuated Princess might need medical help to manage her anxiety. She is five. She shouldn't have anxiety. It is kindergarten not a war zone. Why is my five year old experiencing post traumatic stress syndrome? The more I think about it the more concerned I am. Is this normal? Now that kindergarten is increasingly intense are kids crumbling under pressure before their first tooth fairy visit? Princess isn't the only one. Another little girl in her class was so stressed that she was throwing up in the bushes before school. What happened to singing songs, flicking boogers and eating paste? What would you I do?

Haunted by Feminine Hygiene

2009-10-29T02:14:00.000-07:00

Oh well! Our ghosts smell feminine fresh.

This is the kind of creative mayhem that ensues anytime I shave my ankles, read a post or try to potty solo. My daughters are so proud and the neighborhood is officially spooked. No one has been by to peddle cookies or newspapers this week. I wonder why?

Have a great day! I'm off to buy a motion sensor for the bathroom drawer.

Want to snag some bloggy inspiration? Visit Mama Kat's

Her writing prompts fall somewhere between being touched by a muse and whacked with a cattle prod. With lots of choices one is bound to inspire you.

Do you see me?

2009-10-22T02:25:00.000-07:00

I love her unedited.

Sleep crusted and tear smudged.

You'll find me

beneath her curling lashes,

reflected in her pupil.

Hiding in my daughter's eyes.

I never thought I would be satisfied being seen through someone else's eyes. But there I am pajama covered, camera ready and content being nothing more than a reflection in my daughter's eyes.

My taught tummy has given way to a cavernous belly button they store cheetos in. They use my old poems as confetti and Big Sister digs out the lace thongs buried under my cotton undies and fashions them into sling shots.

Maximazing the distance a thong can shoot a cheerio is my latest passion.

My too small breasts were an all you can eat buffet for two. My too small hips were the gateway to life and my daughters map my freckles like a star chart. They play connect the dots, freckle to freckle. They trace me beautiful and for the first time I am just right.

That is how motherhood has changed me.

Mama Kat's writer's workshop is exploring motherhood. She's asking all kinds of probing questions, "Who are you?", "What's your passion" and "How has motherhood changed you?" just to name a few.

Daddy's Replacement

2009-10-19T03:30:00.000-07:00

Princess has decided the world would be a much better place without boys. I tried to reason with her. After all, no boys would mean no Daddy. What would we do without him? Her response, "We'll just get us a big lady".

Note to self: Score cute magnification pic BEFORE mud fight.

Best Tourist Trap

2009-10-16T03:08:00.000-07:00

The Dole Plantation on Oahu is a little slice of nothing stuck in the middle of nowhere pretty. Unfortunately for me both of our girls love it. It has all the appeal of a petting zoo and giant aquarium combined. For the cost of a few quarters I score happy children and the best photos. If you have small children don't underestimate the wonder and joy contained in a handful of fish pellets. If you're child free then skip the tourist trap, step on the gas and don't stop until you reach the secluded beaches across from Dillingham Airfield. Snuggle up, watch the waves and laugh at all of the poor suckers stuck riding the Pineapple Express and dishing out fish food.

Wishing you love and sunshine from our little grain of paradise!

Hosted by Cecily and MamaGeek

Thrifty or cheap?

2009-10-13T12:00:00.000-07:00

This week I would love some two cents on drawing the line between thrifty and just plain cheap. I am a coupon virgin. That will soon change. I have my little coupon envelope. I even have a weekly meal plan. I'm armed and on the path to thrifty. I draw the line at washing and reusing my aluminum foil but that may change. What about you? Thrifty or cheap? Where do you draw the line?

My Two Cents: If you use restaurant coupons please take note that most restaurants won't allow coupons or gift cards to go towards your server's tip. Please tip your server 15% of your meal's full value or risk giving all coupon users a bad name. Saving money is grand but not at the cost of stiffing your waiter.

Major Malfunction

2009-09-30T02:10:00.000-07:00

Dear Customer Service,

The pause button on our new Toddler 2.0 is malfunctioning. We have had this problem ever since we upgraded from the Baby 1.0.
I tried to call for trouble shooting tips but your number appears to be unlisted.
No refund or exchanges will be necessary.
Thank you.

Head over to 7 Clown Circus for Wordful fun!

Rapunzel and Alopecia Areata

2009-09-08T01:57:00.001-07:00

Loss is big. I could have tried to explain it to my five year old daughter. We could have talked about diseases and suffering. We could have talked statistics. But we didn't. I worried that the magic and wonder in her mind would be evicted to make room for it all. We visited http://www.locksoflove.org/ instead. We talked about sick princesses and we talked hair. She saw images of love and joy. She saw pictures of sacrifice and the celebration of spirit. When it was done my Rapunzel loving princess was ready for a haircut. The child who flips, flops and screams over a trim wanted ten inches cut off for Locks of Love. Naturally, I think this is a sign of greatness. Perhaps, she will grow up to bring peace to a war torn country or cure life threatening diseases. I will dab my eyes in interviews and say things like "She always showed an extraordinary capacity for empathy". Today I praised her from her new blond bob down to her glittery pink toes. She endured my relentless praise, shrugged and said, " I just shared some hair with a bald girl". Fair enough.

"Rapunzel, Rapunzel show me your hair!"

(Like most mothers I think my kid is exceptionally bright, gifted and superior in all ways. Luckily Princess dishes out humility smack downs to keep me grounded.)

If you are not familiar with Locks for Love you can learn more at www.locksforlove.org. You can snag information on how to donate ten inches or more of hair. Donations are used to create custom hair prosthetics for children with disorders, diseases and conditions such as alopecia areata and cancer.

Your first true love?

2009-09-04T02:06:00.001-07:00

My first true love was literature. I vividly remember falling for Serendipity Books by Stephen Cosgrove. I can recall names like Serendipity, Flutterby and Butterwings. When I read to my daughter words resurface tucked away in my memory like a treasure for all these years. Who could forget something as magical as a winged horse unfurling from a cocoon and whining in the moonlight? I always remembered the creatures with their shy eyes and vivid colors. Reading these books gave me the keys to life and magic spilled out. I bought Flutterby for my daughter so that we can soak up the magic together.

I've found the best selection of Serendipity books HERE

( Just so you know Stephen Cosgrove and Amazon gave me a ton of nothing to drop their name for pointing you their way. Anything praised on this blog is brought to you out of nothing more than a desire to share a slice of happiness)

So what was the first book you remember falling for?

Just post a question to join in on Aloha Friday, hosted by An Island Life!

Our Latest Treasure!

2009-08-31T02:14:00.000-07:00

We have a new addiction, geocaching. People across the world hide treasure and log the coordinates online. Our treasure seeking princesses love it. They are brave fairy pirates seeking riches. This time they uncovered a cache of toys and a log book. Baby sister was the perfect side kick and helped uncover the stash. They traded a rhinestone buckle for a dinosaur. Captain Big Sis wanted more treasure. There was a second treasure higher up and over rocks. She had to tread close to the edge of a cliff. She was fearless and pushed past her vertigo by keeping her eye on the prize. Baby and I waited at the bottom devouring oranges and the view while Daddy and Captain Big Sis searched. She came back to us with two scratches, a splinter, a hula doll, some sweat and a ton of pride.

Geocaching is free and and spreading across the globe. It was so much fun. The master minds behind geocaching are giving me jack squat for telling you that. I just can't keep something this fabulous all to myself. I felt like a kid again full of excitement and wonder. I think our girls' confidence doubled in one day.

If you are vacationing on Oahu there are a ton of geocaching sites at top tourist spots. The two caches we found were at Makapuu point. Just remember to pack a small item to trade in your hiking pack and a pen to sign the guest book. We have started carrying a toy stash in the car for instant adventure at a moment's notice.

X UNCOVER YOUR OWN TREASURE at http://www.geocaching.com/

Now What?

2009-08-28T01:12:00.000-07:00

Women in America have come a long way. We can vote. We are no longer considered property. We can work any job a man can for a fraction of the pay. We can walk through life knowing 1 in 6 women will be sexually assaulted compared to 1 in 33 men. If you happen to be the one in six it is debatable how much time your attacker will actually serve behind bars. You can be nearly confident that your attacker will spend more time for raping you than for stealing a bag of Cheetos.

How long before our laws reflect that we value our children and the women in our lives. America has waged war on terror and war on drugs. What about war against sexual assault? Can politicians stop sexually harassing their interns and cheating on their wives long enough to make this a priority?

For more statistics and information on sexual assault visit http://www.rainn.org

Here are some links from my bloggy friends about protecting women and children...

Child Sex Abuse Information

and
A very touching and open post on domestic violence

My Feminist

2009-08-21T00:38:00.000-07:00

How do you let the world in without letting all of the magic seep out?

She reminds me that a girl can climb a tree in head to toe glam. She is fierce, unyielding and full of sparkle. If only the entire world could embrace their true self with same degree of confidence and loving abandonment. Unfortunately school is starting to dull her shine. She comes home with a little less dazzle and less confidence than the day before. She didn't even make it through the first week without someone calling her names and breaking her heart.

August 26th is Women's Equality Day. Please help spread the word!!

Hosted by Cecily and MamaGeek

The Bloggy Award Buffet

2009-08-17T02:24:00.001-07:00

It is an all you can take award buffet. Please have your fill and gorge yourself on praise. There is something for everyone and I even created a new award for the girl that has everything!

Meet another Comment Queen!! This was a hard one. My box has been busting at the seams with both hysterical and touching comments. The prize goes to...Sweeter Living
Her comment delivered quality and quantity. I laugh every time I reread. Yes, I reread my comments. I fight depression by dipping into the comment box instead of my pill box. Here is a taste of her comment leaving goodness..

"That silver thingamajig should have been tested on male doctors... then we would quickly see a new invention: "the painless-featherlike-silkysoft-can'thardlyfeelit-supercareful-nonobtrusive-verygentle-device"

(her ENTIRE comment can be found in the comment box of Private Detectives, Zubbles and Mothering )

I got a bloggy nod from a glamorous therapist who has been married 32 years! She dishes out her secrets and has amazing skin! A happy marriage must be good for the complexion!

In the spirit of "Honest Scrap" I am supposed to tell you 15 honest things about me. The most honest things about me are that I am a complete failure at following directions. I am also horrible with numbers.

Then there is my favorite hair magician, Sugar spice and all hair nice. I think she must have some kind of child charming tricks. Her princess sits still for the most amazing hair art. The very best thing about her is that she is a comment leaving goddess. Her visits always put a little extra pep in my step! She thinks I'm fabulous and the feeling is mutual.

Next up is Blue Cotton Memory. She is a woman thriving in a family of men. She is dishing out discipline in the form of squats while I'm holding feather boas for ransom. She thinks my blog is lovely. I'm grateful that she thought of me since I am a wild mess of a mom who considers Harry Potter a book of substance. Who can resist a blog that comes with equal parts of love and opinions?

The following blog is so much better than bacon. It is one of the greatest compliments I can bestow on a fellow blogger. Bacon is that special final touch to salads, baked beans and crucial for breakfast gravy. Sorry PETA!

She makes me laugh. Reading her blog is like having an instant girlfriend to give you the honest scoop with a dose of laughter. Even bacon can't do that!

Another sweet award to celebrate from Brown Eyed Gal!

I hope you enjoy this bloggy buffet and finds something suited to your tastes. Thank you!

P.S: The bloggy buffet comes with no strings attached. So hoard them, share them, ignore them or brag about them to your hearts content!!

The Pause Button

2009-08-10T15:52:00.000-07:00

I'm pausing this little bloggy until the storm passes. Our area looses power even when there is a gust of wind on a sunny day. We're prepared to be dining on cashews and frozen pancakes. We'll also be playing Candyland by flashlight.

I will return with a full blown bloggy award buffet. I have been hoarding them like a squirrel hoards nuts. Plus I will be unveiling a wild new award for my fun bloggy friends. Any fun ideas for Women's Equality Day on August 26th??

P.S: The storm was all fizzle. The stash of batteries and gallon size tub of mayo went untouched. The best news is hubby comes back today!! I'm too excited to sleep. So the blog is still paused and I will just take the pay cut for my bad bloggy behavior. Do you know how excited I would be if there was even any pay to be cut? BIG SIGH!

Breastfeeding Doll

2009-08-05T15:53:00.000-07:00

Am I the only person in the world that finds this doll hysterical and NOT creepy?I must be suffering from Outrage Deficiency Syndrome. I browsed through all the comments expressing shock and disgust on NEW PARENT and You Tube. I still can't shake the image of hubby donning the nursing apron and pressing the doll to his tiny "lilies" to show Princess how it is done. He is the official new toy demonstrator after all. Why should this be any different? Reading all the comments actually made me laugh harder. It's just a doll not a pack of pretend birth control pills!

I do not promise to be lucid in the next few days. I feel and look like I have been nursing a nest of angry porcupines at my right breast. My fever is rising. I hope that baby doll comes with pretend cold compresses. I am soothing my own "lilies" with a bag of frozen mangoes. So if you are one of those people that think breastfeeding is icky and you find yourself at my dinner table, don't eat the mangoes!!

Please don't forget that August 26th is Women's Equality day. Please send me the link to your post if you tackle the issue of women and equality on your blog!!

Get inspired by Mama Kat and pick your own prompt! Diagnose yourself, confess your deepest fears and more.

Equality for Women?

2009-08-03T03:01:00.000-07:00

August 26, 1920, the 19th Amendment of the US Constitution was ratified granting women the right to vote.

So what do you think of THIS article on California cutting 100% of it's funding for domestic violence services?! I guess we should kick this month off celebrating the fact that men no longer have the legal right to use, abuse and beat their wives. Unfortunately if you live in California you might not find anyone to stand with you if he does. Who will be there to keep you safe? Who will take you in?

This month's topic is women and equality. Give your two cents on anything that impacts women. How will you celebrate this month with your sons and daughters? Any ideas for activities, projects?

If you want to join in and for a complete list of details and FAQ on Two Cents just Click Here

Please leave a link to your post in the comment section if you give your Two Cents on anything women related this month and I will compile them together in one big post.

Private Detectives, Zubbles and Mothering

2009-07-31T00:39:00.000-07:00

1. Would it be too wierd if I sit outside my daughter's school with binoculars and a telephoto lens?
How about ordering a background track on her teacher and having the woman tailed throughout the school year?
I haven't hired anyone yet or anything just mulling it over. Thoughts? Reprimands? Reference for a great private investigator?

2. Since when did being a mother stop being enough? The other day a fellow mom asked what I did. When I told her I stayed at home raising my daughters she said, "Oh, you're unemployed". What do you say to that? It doesn't matter. I might have to get a job that pays more and has less demanding hours so I can afford that private detective and devote more time stalking my own children anyways.

3. Toy inventor Tim Kehoe
has burst my Zubble. I ordered my Zubbles before the The Zubble People
realized, "OH CRAP! People are willing to pay over seven bucks a bottle for colored bubbles! We better make more". Now they are back ordered. No worries Mr. Zubble a child's patience is limitless. She completely understands.

*In the Zubble Master's defense I must say he did devote fourteen years of his life to a vibrant bubble that doesn't stain. Shouldn't that be enough?

4. So. It looks like I am still waiting for a male scientist to invent something so speculator it redeems the entire male population for the invention of the speculum. Why is that little medieval torture device still around. Anything with a crank has no business being near my "business".

That sums up my random Friday Fragments for today. So just gather your crumbs of wisdom, toss them together and click below to join in.....

And introducing another host of random Friday fun...

A Little Lost

2009-07-29T02:48:00.001-07:00

I'm feeling overwhelmed and a little lost. Princess starts school and will be leaving me. The longest we have ever spent apart is at birth when she she was taken to NICU. I have been neurotically stingy with her ever since they took her off the monitors and put her back in my arms.

She kept me company through two deployments. Through the first she literally kicked me forward from the inside out, urging me on from the womb. The second time she helped me navigate a foreign country all alone. Together we tasted German sweets and explored Roman ruins. Her baby babble was universal and defied all language barriers.

I am going to be lost without her. I will even miss the sibling squabbles and feisty girly squeals. She will be gone for a moment. It is still enough to make my breath catch and a half day without her is unimaginable. It makes me think of the families who are forced to move forward without their children for a lifetime. I wish I knew what to say to ease that kind of loss. I know there are no words. The only thing I can do is love my own daughters even more fiercely and suck up the moments we have. Please forgive me if I am around a little less and crazy more often. I am neurotic since the birth of my children and I think it will get worse before it gets better.

I apologize frequently to my daughter...

"Sorry you can't go to Susie's. I don't know her parents and Mommy is a bit of Whack Job about that kind of stuff".

She assures me,

"No stress. No worries. God made you that way".

She's wise beyond her years.

Baby Sister is trying to pick something out for Big Sister that is truley one of a kind. A good luck boogie perhaps? I think this might be our Christmas card! Any caption suggestions??

Head over to 7 Clown Circus for more Wordful fun!!!

The Adult Onesie?

2009-07-24T01:02:00.001-07:00

Who can pull off a romper? Is it for the masses or reserved for cute toddlers, hot blondes and Kim Kardashian? I would like to think I could slip one on but I'm afraid hubby would just laugh and try to spoon feed me some baby food.

Post your own question and join in on Aloha Friday, hosted by An Island Life!

I am not fashion forward unless you consider chicken nuggets a fashion accessory. I resort to dressing vicariously through my daughters. For now I'll let them rock the rompers and just stalk my favorite fashion blog.
I visit Maegan for fashion inspiration. She has repeatedly ignored my request for her to photoshop cellulite on her thighs. However, her blog is so fun and witty that I'm willing to endure her perfection. If you have never been you must check out her tutorials and her gratuitous outfit posts. I am yet to make it through a single one without being inspired to get dressed for the day. She pulls off the romper and gives lessons on how to turn old shirts into trendy necklaces and more.

FEET!!

2009-07-21T19:09:00.001-07:00

TOE PAINT: Tear Free baby wash mixed with cornstarch and food coloring!!!

Check out http://www.iheartfaces.blogspot.com/ !!

You're not that important!

2009-07-20T01:11:00.000-07:00

This is my NEW life motto. Until now I have embraced save the world one vote, one moment and one piece of trash at the time. You're special.

Well it's a good thing I'm so flipping special. If I wasn't so special how would I manage to reverse global warming, reform government and make it home in time to serve my daughter food in non-cancer leaching plastic dishes and wash them with earth friendly dish detergent? Save the planet and while you're at it don't forget that your child has three crucial first years for brain development. Stop snuggling and start working on those synapses!!

I can't even bear the guilt of my daughter's busted lip resulting from some reckless bed jumping let alone the fate of the world. I feel more relaxed already knowing that my children's waffle breakfast is NOT paving the way for a lifetime of obesity. That's a huge step. I hope this works because otherwise I might need to turn to prescription drugs to manage all this anxiety. On second thought, I read that prescription drugs are being excreted in our urine and contaminating the water. Oh well, so much for that idea.

Bedazzling the Feminist

2009-07-16T04:45:00.000-07:00

My first daughter was in my womb dreaming of feather boas and purple play shoes while I was buying action figures and trucks. When she danced in my womb it was to the rhythm of Sharon Olds' poetry. I read to her from The Book of the City of Ladies by Christine de Pizan not Cinderella. By the time she was full term my uterus was so full with stories of powerful women that there was hardly any room left for amniotic fluid.

My daughter was born genetically predisposed to Barbie and everything that sparkles. All her gender neutral toys were tossed to make room for a pink play kitchen and shopping cart.

I planned to shape her into a jean loving mini feminist.

She is bedazzling my inner feminist instead. I am learning that a girl can win a mud fight in a multi tiered dress and have mud to spare for pretend chocolate muffins. She is wild, fierce and girly. Her femininity knows no boundaries. I watch in adoration as she defines herself from scratch.

Now all I need to do is relax and try not to mess it up.

Beyond Sticker Charts

2009-07-13T00:56:00.001-07:00

(just click on the image to see it large and in all it's wonder)

Two things I vowed never to be:
1. A counting mom

2. A sticker chart mom

I have no idea why but they epitomized "mother" to me. So grown up and serious. YIKES!

I broke my counting rule before my first daughter was out of the womb. "You're Daddy is on leave so you have until the count of three to exit my womb young lady". It didn't work then and it doesn't work now but I'm a counter. I can admit it. After five years I finally started shopping for gold starts but I couldn't crumble. Not yet. Instead we have the "Prize Petal" game.

Object of the game:

Player must help their flower blowing in the breeze return to the empty stem.

Rules:

Player moves down every time a rule is followed and a chore is completed. If a rule is broken the player must move back one space.

If the flower makes it to the stem by sunset the player wins a prize. If not the player is blown back to the beginning.

YOU WILL NEED:

Cork board

Paint
Push Pins

Silk Flowers

Scrapbook Paper

Glue

The Game Board:

The game board is just painted cork board. I can't paint so I taped off the horizon and sponge painted above and below. I cut the flowers/ ladybug from scrapbook paper. I sealed them with mod podge.

!! Don't use scrapbook paper near the places you will want to place your push pins !!

The Game Pieces:

I used tall plastic push pins and simply hot glued flowers and butterflies onto the tops.

Optional Reward Books and Planner:

You can make your own schedule and reward cards by whole punching index cards and holding them together with a metal ring or ribbon. Post rules, rewards or daily activities and hang them on the board.

(I place our board just out of reach since the push pins are so tempting. We move them together.)

Variations:

You can easily adapt to any theme for any age child. Families with multiple children could "race" each other to the finish. You do not have to use flowers or a garden theme. There are endless possibilities. "Buggy Behave" would be cute and you could substitute plastic spiders push pins for the silk flowers.

**If this post inspires you to make your own chore chart game I would love to see it and share it on my blog. Just let me know!! I might have a special prize for my favorite. You just never know.

Lots of love from a "nearly" sticker chart momma!!

Two other places for design inspiration if your feeling crafty...

http://expressivelyme.blogspot.com/

http://brixtonlife.blogspot.com/

When life throws you mud...

2009-07-11T03:55:00.001-07:00

make mudpies!!

My Two Cents on Ascitis

2009-07-07T00:33:00.000-07:00

TWO CENTS TUESDAY!!! Time for me to share an opinion about all the things everyone had the good sense NOT to ask you about....

While everyone was worried about swine flu and cancer leaching plastics Ascitis has hit pandemic proportions. You can't catch up on politics or entertainment without another Ascitis victim making the headlines. There are men across the globe suffering from very severe and possibly fatal strains of the disease.

Is there a cure?
There is no known cure for Ascitis. However, a good divorce lawyer may cover alternative treatments.

Can it be prevented?
I hate to break it to you but frequent hand washing can't protect you from this disease. It appears to be contagious but not airborne. It is still very mysterious.

What causes Ascitis?
One controversial theory is snappy wives and marriage induced abstinence lowers immunity. Some people advocate "love injections" and "obedience". They offer up Jon and Kate as proof that quarrelsome wives spread the disease. I'm not buying it. Defiant women have already been tagged as the root of original sin. I won't be shouldering the blame for Jon Gosselin's adultery too.

If Jon had been better in the sack (Kate's sack) in the first place then maybe Kate wouldn't have been so snarky ? Does she look like a woman that has had a good night of umm "sleep"? If your hubby was out curling another woman's toes wouldn't you be a little snippy. It's that age old question, "Which came first? The adulterous husband or the cranky wife?". One may never know. Fifty bucks says Jon goes back to college to "further his mind". Poor Jon had to take a break from the media because Governor Sanford was stealing all his sleazy thunder.

I'm just glad the Ascitis sufferers are hogging up less news space. North Korea had to threaten "a hail storm of nuclear fire" just to get a headline. Sarah Palin had to resign to elbow her way into the headlines.

So every politician, entertainer, athlete and guy next door please just pick up some chewable Vitamin C, drink plenty of fluids and get some rest. The last thing the world needs right now is an Ascitis pandemic.

If you want to join in and for a complete list of details and FAQ on Two Cents just Click Here

Please leave a link to your post in the comment section and I will enter it by hand if Mr. Linky is missing in action!!

Eat Cat!

2009-07-03T01:46:00.001-07:00

Our princess has started spelling. We celebrated by having C A T for breakfast. C A T is best served with syrup and butter. Who's hungry?

Spell it out with your favorite pancake batter. Great for learning fun or even short messages. Nothing says L O V E like breakfast.

Hosted by Cecily and MamaGeek

I'm still spinning from my SITS feature day! WOWZA! You all dished out some serious comment loving. Thank you. I intend to visit each and every blog and reply no later than 2012!! (Hopefully MUCH sooner) Thank you so much for coming by. I'm still smiling!

Happy at Maximum Capacity

2009-06-29T18:40:00.000-07:00

My life is too full of happy for just one woman to bear. To celebrate all of this good fortune and the minor mishaps that keep life interesting I am planning another Aloha Giveaway. I can't wait to share my favorite flavors and scents of Hawaii with you!!! Visit the
Announcements for all the latest details and events. Please contact me if you have a product fit for paradise that you would like to add to the prize basket!!

It is my special day! I plucked the breastache and even shaved above the knee. That's right, I broke out the razor AND the tweezers. So can anyone guess the cause for such celebration? Is it girls night out, free boob job day, my birthday or national bacon day? Nope. Well, I did just turn 29 but that is NOT what all the fuss is about. You get tons of birthdays but only one SITS day! The most amazing collection of comment givers in blogland will be stopping by to pour on the comment loving.

The best reads come from my comment box rather than the posts. My box is stuffed with confessions, tears, prayers, recipes and giggles. A comment free blog is about as exciting as a plain baked potato. I am forever grateful to the wonderful readers that make sure this blog comes fully loaded. Comment Queens are the chives, bacon, sour cream and extra cheese that make blogging worthwhile. The latest additions to the Comment Queen hall of fame....

The Blonde Duck always checks in and lets me know I'm not blogging to myself. She is "Giddily Married" and it's nearly contagious. I'm glad I discovered such a joyful treasure in my comment box.

Em earned her Comment Queen status by giving me a hysterical visual and a little taste of raising boys. She asked my opinion on gluing Hotwheels to a pacifier instead of flowers. As a mom to all girls I love these little glimpses into raising boys.

(As always this award comes with NO requirements, rules or regulations. Just relax and bask in the glow of your award winning comment leaving goodness!!!)

Heather and Tiffany are the ultimate Comment Queens. They are the brains and beauty behind...

Their carpal tunnel syndrome is the path to endless comment loving and fabulous bloggy friends. Thank you both for my wonderful SITS feature and all your hardwork!!

Linoleum Crocodiles and Magic Stains

2009-06-26T01:59:00.000-07:00

Our kitchen has been taken over by a nest of angry crocodiles. I leap over them to get the chocolate milk, the pretzels and the strawberries. Sometimes I forget they're there. My five year old wrestles them to the ground and ties them to the handle of the fridge door with pink ribbon. She is very fierce. She is unafraid of them flipping and flopping on our linoleum floors. She saves me from their snapping jaws and toxic glitter breath. Linoleum crocodiles release poisonous glitter infused gases or so I've been told. In between crocodile wrangling she has trained her baby sister to fart on command. They are both so proud of their stinky little show and serve me "popcorn" scooped from the kitty dish during intermission.

What would my life have been like if I had chosen a child free path?

I imagine it would be full of long vacations, hardwood floors, expensive breakables and literary novels. All that money saved on diapers and college savings would translate into spa days and no roots. I would have a large spacious home filled to the brim with silk blouses, four inch heels and things that stain. There would be no room in my adult sanctuary left for crocodiles and guard dragons. What would have happened to all the purple mongooses of the world then?

My life is magic stained. I will probably spend this birthday mermaid hunting and cleaning up after the sneaky purple mongoose who likes to paint the fridge with pudding when no one is looking. I will fall asleep knowing that a pink dragon is keeping us safe and that the fire breathing horses that pull our Honda are sound asleep. I will be thankful that the "popcorn" comes from the kitty's dish instead of her litter box.

Glitter Eruption

2009-06-24T03:53:00.000-07:00

The day my husband has waited for finally came......a craft project he could relate to. Princess wanted to see a volcanic eruption and Daddy could deliver. He broke out the flour and the vinegar. He had plans, big plans. He needed the right shade of paint for a realistic lava rock creation. He needed the perfect base, flour, paper, a lava tube and a reality check..... Who says volcanoes can't sport glitter and hot pink bubbling lava?

(This project was so fun and easy for Daddy and the girls. They created the base by soaking paper in a bowl of water, molding it around a cup full of baking soda. Don't forget to poke a hole in the top. Then they covered it with with a mixture of flour and water. It dried overnight. The "lava" is just vinegar mixed with food coloring poured over the baking soda inside.)

Head over to 7 Clown Circus for Wordful fun and to share photos or..

Works-For-Me Wednesday carnival hosted weekly by We Are That Family for fun tips!

Frankenipple

2009-06-22T00:31:00.001-07:00

I've got Frankenipple and it's all your fault. Here's how it happened...

I'm blogging and nursing my little princess at the same time. I pop over to one of my favorite blogs just as the baby starts to nod off. WHAM! Music blares through the computer. It's suppose to be a little sweet, a little fun. Normally it would add a cool vibe to a rather fab blog. However, the baby startles and chomps down. We both scream.

And now here's the dilemma. Who gets the bill for reattaching my severed nipple? Did I mention it is my anniversary today? Isn't that worth a little extra pain and suffering? For all my music loving bloggers I still adore you. I won't hold my frankenipple against all of you. I am partially to blame for offering myself up as a human pacifier and nursing a piranha disguised as a human toddler. I've learned my lesson. I will be blogging from now on with the sound off.

If I was smart I would keep this little story to myself. Too late! I've already owned up to the breastache and the hair removal fiasco. I stopped pretending to be sane a long time ago! Do you have an embarrassing moment? Please share. I'd love to hear that I am not the only walking train wreck in blogland.

And don't worry about me. It isn't anything that can't be fixed with a dab of Neosporin, a butterfly closure and a shot of tequila.

Portrait Pacifier Instructions

2009-06-17T00:55:00.000-07:00

These petal pouts make adorable gifts for baby showers. Tuck them in an organza bag and you have a fabulous boutique baby gift. Break out the hot glue right now and you might even set the trend for Jennifer Garner and Ben's little Seraphina. You are just seconds away from pacie couture..

You Will Need:
A Hot Glue Gun
Flat back Pearl or Crystal Center
Small Flower Head

Pacifier

Instructions:
1. Break apart a flower by removing and discarding the plastic pieces.
2. Reassemble the flower by hot gluing the petals back together.
3. Glue the flower to the top of the pacifier.
4. Cover the small hole in the center of the flower by securely gluing a flat back crystal or pearl over it.
5. POOF! You're done. Now wasn't that easy?

Additional Tips:

Ranunculus and small roses work well. Stick to other petals like hydrangeas and cherry blossoms or you will cover up baby's cute face.

Get creative. Layer petals and blend different flower petals. You don't have to use the entire flower.

I just wish I had designed these for my first pacifier loving daughter. Instead the photographer and I had to play pull the pacifier. I would snag it, he would click and I would try to pop it back in before princess wreaked havoc on the earth.

LAST BUT NOT LEAST:
Portrait Pacifiers make wonderful photo props. However, never leave your baby unsupervised with anything that has small parts.

Please do not copy or duplicate any TuTu's Bliss photographs or blog content such as instructions. Copying other people's posts, instructions and creative endeavors without permission is not nice. I could quote legal jargon but my toddler sums it up the best, "MINE! MINE! MINE!".

Works-For-Me Wednesday carnival hosted weekly by We Are That Family. Check it out for fun tips!

Benadryl, Mango Salsa and Hair

2009-06-12T02:33:00.000-07:00

Time to sweep up your bloggy crumbs and offer them up for Friday Fragments over at Half-Past Kissin' Time. Just click below to join in and link up..

1. I wonder how much Benadryl I would have to give my girls to get them to stay still long enough for me to try THIS on their rebellious hair?
2. Please don't send me hate mail. I would never coax my girls still with the help of Benadryl just for a cool hair do. What kind of mother do you think I am?

See! I am too busy feeding the baby suckers laced with red dye #40 and letting her use her sticky hands as hair gel on her shaggy bangs.

3. Mango Salsa goes with everything. Spoon it on tilapia or mix it with tuna/chicken and stuff it in a pita. It's healthy but I love it anyway. Plus you can always grease it up by eating it on cheese loaded nachos. Yummy and mangolicious!

Mango Salsa Recipe

2 ripe mangos (peeled and chopped) 2 TBS cilantro (chopped)
1 Red Bell Pepper (chopped)
1/2 Red Onion (diced)
1 Jalapeno (diced)
1 TBS Lemon juice
2 TBS Lime juice

Salt and pepper to taste and then toss. Voila!

11"x14" on canvas board acrylic, part of Cindy's Symmetry Sauce label series

Learn more about the talented and fun artist featured above by clicking HERE. You can visit with the artist, view more of her work and check out her cool chalkboards too!

Love, Millet Seed and Hope

2009-06-10T00:58:00.000-07:00

This is Wilson. We found him hungry and chirping, "mama". My daughter wanted to feed him love. I couldn't find a nest, no anxious parents. He wouldn't take water. What to do? Bring him in and let her see the hard lesson that sometimes love is not enough. Is five too young to learn that you can't will someone to live? How long could we even keep him alive? Would it be cruel or kind? I googled nursing baby birds, bird sanctuaries and by the time I was done he was gone. I have my own cynical theories about his fate but my daughter keeps watering them down with her incessant hope. Every bird is Wilson. Wilson learned to fly. Wilson grew up.Wilson got married. Wilson had babies. Our home is now a Wilson sanctuary and we go through pounds of seed feeding his "family". Who knew that so much redemption, love and hope could fit in a seven pound bag of bird seed?

I had this post ready and waiting before I even popped over to check out Angie's post. Head over to 7 Clown Circus for Wordful fun and see how great minds think alike!!

My Food Angels

2009-06-06T01:56:00.001-07:00

Letters to my Angels, bringers of all things great, may you be anointed with butter in the spirit of flavor....

"WHO CARES IF MY WINGS GET CHUBBY" is a painting by KJ. Her art is a very special kind of wonderful. You can find her HERE.

Dear Burger King Cashier,
My life was dull until you revealed the "bacon button". This little bacon revelation has put an extra bit of pep in my step. Now I know I can add bacon to ANYTHING on your grease loving menu with just a press of a button. I adore you for not raising your eyebrow when I asked you to hit it twice. I think the heavens parted and a ray of light shown on your beautiful nonjudgmental smile! Thank you!

Dear Starbucks Barista,
Thank you for letting me know that 2% milk is now the Starbucks standard. I can finally stop asking for 2% to mask my guilt for the extra whip request. And thanks for that extra squeeze of caramel that I didn't even have to ask for. We shared that moment. We locked eyes, slightly hidden by that extra ten pounds of weight gain and you just knew. Thank you.

Dear Hubby,
Thank you for adoring my new bacon spread and that extra bit of topping. Love you!!

CLICK HERE for some bloggy inspiration and to check out some fun letters. Write your own and link up!!

Or check out this list of GREAT MOMMY BLOGS created by NewParent.com. I'm on it, I'm on it!! I am so excited. They are on a mission to seek out fun and interesting mommy blogs and give some linky love. It is a special treat to see something that uplifts mothers and fellow bloggers. Thank you so much!

Two Cents: Daddy Magic

2009-06-02T00:37:00.000-07:00

What makes a good father? Is there a Daddy checklist? Is it me or is there less pressure on men to be good fathers than there is on women to be good mothers? Do we do it to ourselves? Can bad husbands be good fathers?

I would love it if you would share your Two Cents. This month I'm going to try something a little different. Instead of signing Mr. Linky let me know about your two cents post in the comment section. I will highlight my favorite two cents posts throughout the entire month so feel free to jump in anytime. For a complete list of details and FAQ on Two Cents just Click Here

NOW FOR MY TWO CENTS....

My husband knows that there is a good chance our girls will either marry a man just like him or become him. Their relationships will be modeled after how we treat one another. He doesn't try to separate being a good husband from being a good father. He knows that part of being a good father is being a good husband. I adore that. I don't think you have to be a great husband to be a great father but I do believe that you have to treat the people in your life with respect and apologize when you make mistakes.

We are not perfect. We still fight and there are times we forget to treat each other with dignity and respect but he has mastered the apology. I am still learning. Some men are natural fathers. There are men who rock the diaper tool belt and deserve gold medals for their "scoop and tickle". My husband is not that kind of father. He makes a conscious effort and is always learning. He dresses the baby in her sister's clothes, backwards. He feeds them candy and bagels for dinner. He curls up on the couch for some "Jurassic Park" bonding with his princess divas. He stumbles from bed and cuddles them after their dinosaur induced nightmares. He wakes up with toy indentions in his back and grumpy eyes. Sometimes I say, "I told you so" and sometimes I say,

"Don't do that" but most of the time I say, "Thank You". It means so much to me that he works so hard. I know it doesn't come easy for him. Loving our daughters is effortless but fathering them takes work. My two cents is that sometimes love really is enough. It doesn't hurt to put all your theories on parenting aside and occasionally give trial and error a chance to work some magic.

YOUR TURN!!

Cool Contest Alert!!

2009-06-01T11:23:00.001-07:00

Optimism:

Today the baby removed her diaper and finger painted the crib in poo during her morning nap time. I could be stressed, disturbed and nauseous. Instead I am optimistic that my "famous artist to be" will have experience dabbling in various mediums.
Resilience:

The baby can rotate her head in every direction while breastfeeding without every losing suction and my fun bags are still above my waistband. If that isn't resilience I don't know what is.

Empowerment:

My oldest managed to suck her two fingers and pick her nose all at the same time. It took much trial and error but she persevered.
Goal Setting/ Hope:

I have finally reached my goal of sparkling clean floors. I give both girls a washcloth and a bucket of soap while watching from the couch and singing "Sing Sweet Nightingale" from Cinderella. I hope I am not breaking any child labor laws.

Emotional Awareness: Well.....

Fishful Thinking is encouraging parents to create storybooks exploring optimism, empowerment, goal setting, resilience and emotional awareness. Create one and enter to win a 10,000 scholarship.

CLICK HERE

for all the details and to learn all the other cool things you might win with your very own storybook creation courtesy of my favorite ladies from SITS. You get to brag about your kids, share pictures and enter to win loads of stuff. Does it get any better than that? Now I'm off to work on my own storybook but first I need to clean the crib and the baby.

Time for your Your Two Cents ! You can share your two cents on anything or join in on this month's topic, fatherhood and everything daddy. My two Cents goes up the first Tuesday of every month but link up anytime!

I'm Teething

2009-05-29T20:35:00.000-07:00

I've been teething and trying to get my learner's permit. My wisdom teeth are fashionably late. I am nearly thirty and cutting teeth. To top it off I let my driver's license expire. Since I am here in Hawaii and my original license is from Oklahoma I had to start from scratch. I took the written test, got my permit and then joined a bench full of anxious teens for the driving test. Luckily I passed! I eased in under the wire. Thank goodness the tester didn't make me parallel park. I think she knew my limits. My husband loved teasing me. I got him back by calling him "Daddy" while we waited in line for my permit.

What do you think of my blog lift? I have a navigation bar and I am so excited.

I wanted something classic and simple and Krystyn worked hard to make it happen. I am so excited about it. If you are craving a bloggy pick me up just click on the button above.

Now I am off to take the car for a spin. It feels great to be able to drive without a licensed driver over 21!!!

Our Domestic Front

2009-05-21T15:49:00.001-07:00

Image courtesy of Andy Dunning Photography

Here are some excerpts from some of the love notes hubby and I exchanged while he was in Iraq.

Friday, September 16, 2005 2:42 AM

(From Me Anxious for his "R&R")
Sorry Rew's e-mail got sent 3X. She was helping. I love you very much. We've had a really rough morning. I don't think Rew is feeling good. She hasn't slept well the last few nights and this morning she was so fussy that even a popsicle didn't help. She was just screaming, crying and holding onto my neck so tight I could barely breathe. She had a death grip on me like she was afraid I'd leave if she let up her grip. One handed, I put in a video and we cuddled on the floor for about thirty minutes. I fell asleep with her little arm wrapped around my neck and her face buried in my shoulder. When I woke up she was still awake and had let up her grip a little but wouldn't let me out of arms reach the rest of the morning. At times like this I wish she could tell me what was wrong. It hurts so much not being able to make it better. I love you. I hope I get to hear from you soon. I think with Rew not feeling well and you on your way but not here has made me out of sorts. I'm very emotional. I cried at the grocery store!!! Pathetic, I know. I love you, Jen

What I didn't say but he knew I meant... "I'm lost without you. Faced daily with your mortality is too much. I'm reduced to an anxious mess and even the baby senses it. I'm worried that you will be disappointed in the emotional, whining wreck I've become. "

Friday, September 16, 2005 2:42 AM (His Response)
It's not pathetic baby doll. I have my moments probably more so than you right now. Some days I feel ok and then some I feel as if the world is crashing down, and I can't get home soon enough. I love you darlin'. I hope that you know that. I will be home soon now. I am in Balad, next stop Kuwait. I love you darlin'. jw

Tuesday, October 18, 2005, 4:21 AM

(From Hubby, Already Gone Again)

I am sorry that REW and you are so sad. I wish that I could be there to comfort you this very moment. Although you don't realize it, I do cuddle you in your sleep. Usually at least twice a night. You just smile and cuddle into me. I love you darlin'. Tell REW that Da Da will be home as soon as he possibly can. jw

The real message hidden in every word he ever wrote to me no matter how simple or brief.... "Right now, I am alive. Today, I am in one piece. Today I am whole. Right now you can sleep. Sleep knowing that you were able to log another minute as my wife and not my widow".

Hubby came home after two tours in Iraq. He returned with dirty laundry and fewer love notes. I haven't cried in the grocery store in a long time now but when I do I know he'll love me anyway.

ABOUT THE PHOTOGRAPH:

The image in this post is a photograph of a memorial to soldiers who died in Iraq. I am amazed at this photographers ability to capture the brevity of life with a single photograph. This image touched me for obvious reasons. It reminds me that there are so many that did not come home. My heart and love goes to all the families navigating through the pain and loss that I feared daily but never experienced. I am inspired by your strength and in awe of the love that survives war and death.

You can admire more of Andy Dunning's moving photography HERE . The proceeds from his sales go towards volunteer organizations in Latin America. He is happy to offer any image in other sizes as well. Don't be afraid to ask.

And Mama Kat's offering up her weekly bloggy inspiration. Blog over, catch the creative spark. Share your own love letter and more!

Food Smeared and Fashion Forward

2009-05-20T02:36:00.000-07:00

Macaroni and cheese really brings out her eyes. Move over Maybelline. The baby is marketing her own line of toddler inspired cosmetics. The line will range in colors and flavors from Kiss My Kraft to Ravioli Rouge. PATENT PENDING ;)

Her Tip: Color isn't just for lips anymore. Mix it up. Dab a pop of color on the end of your nose and don't forget to rub a touch in your hairline. For something a little more dramatic try the full face smear. Her friend rocked the look at this trendy birthday bash!

And you thought primary eye shadows were daring! Seriously people. Bold eyeshadow were such a snack time ago.

Head over to 7 Clown Circus for Wordful fun

Special Announcements

2009-05-16T00:26:00.001-07:00

KNEES AND PAWS GIVEAWAY:

ENDS APRIL 28th

We will soon be leaving paradise and are gearing up for a new adventure. We hope you stick around for the journey.

15% of all TuTu's Bliss sales from now until August 1st will be donated to March of Dimes!!

BLOGGY LOVIN'!

If you need some good old fashion bloggy lovin' you should click below. She serves up optimism and prayer with a side of warm fuzzies and it's all free!

Warning: Use Sally Hansen Spray-On Shower off Hair Remover at your own risk! I have Naired to bare before with no complications. However, three minutes with Sally and I fear I will never be the same. I am red, itchy and chemical burned from high thigh to toe. Yes, I said toe. What can I say? I am a hairy beast. The crazy thing is this little wonder product removed my flesh and somehow managed to leave the hair behind! Now for happier and more exciting news...I am off to slather the back of my legs with Neosporin and frighten the neighborhood children.

I'm NOT that mom

2009-05-12T02:53:00.000-07:00

There are moms that can juggle multiple children, dispute a credit charge and perform open heart surgery while surfing the Internet. I am not THAT mom. I am coming to terms with it. There are also women that can wear "skinny pants" with tapered ankles. I am not that woman either. I have better sense than to ever try to roll my body into "THOSE" pants so why am I still trying to be "THAT" mom? If something doesn't fit just don't wear it. It sounds easy enough. Pants are easy to pass over but my "Supermom" complex is tougher to shelve away. Who can resist a cape and the super human ability to clean, cook and make your own play dough while wearing a stacked wedge and a frilly apron?

I would love to tell you that I am doing something fantastic and inspiring during bloggy lapses. However, I'm not creating an ant farm from a milk bottle and discarded rubber bands. I am not rocking my inner fashion diva or cooking scampi and baking bread from scratch. I am not taking pole dancing classes or learning kick boxing. I am not on a path to self improvement or on a spiritual quest. I am not running a marathon or traveling the world to cure hunger or even working on a novel. I'm really not. I am showering a little longer, napping, microwaving dinner and reading Skippy Jon Jones complete with accents, twice. So if I am not around I may be losing the smack down with my temperamental computer or I might be doing absolutely nothing and I'm okay with that, almost.

You know how much I adore enabling your blog addiction so here you go, click on the button below and prepare to fall head over heels for...

This blog has it all brains, beauty and the belle. What more does a person need? Feeling like your life is missing something? Well, if you haven't blogged over to Snarky Belle and met Natalie it probably is a little incomplete. She is like bacon (In case you don't know bacon is the life force of all tasty food). "Like Bacon" is one of the deepest and most sincere comments I can bestow on a person. She is feisty, makes fun of liberals and I adore her anyway. Not very many people can make fun of Nancy Pelosi and still snag a bacon badge. She is also the latest addition to my favorite award winning Comment Queens. The comments left on Tuesday's Two Cents post were all wonderful but Natalie's really touched me and many others. Sometimes things pop up in my comment box that I hope to never forget and her comment qualifies as one of those moments.

The Comment Queen Award has no rules, requirements or special instructions. It is yours to do with as you will. It is intended to bring the recipient warm fuzzies and requires no work, acknowledgement or even words of gratitude. If you win it you already earned it so just relax and enjoy anyway you see fit!

Fragments

2009-05-08T02:52:00.000-07:00

Help yourself to some Fragments and dish some up ! Just share all those bits and pieces you collect along the way.

I'm having a hard time finding a good woman. I never realized that snagging hubby and starting a family would force me to play the "friend field". Being a single woman dating was easy compared to play dates and the search for my forever mommy friend. I'm looking for a mommy friend that must not be offended when Baby helps herself to a side of breast milk or when Big Sis lifts her dress and uses the hem as a tissue. Her children must be comparable in age and not try to poke the cat's eyes out when they visit. Her husband must be pleasant or just silent, I'm flexible.

I adored the comments on your two cents about extended breastfeeding. You all made me feel so much better about breastfeeding the baby until she goes to college. Why don't any of you understanding mothers live by me?

I do love my fellow blog moms. The wonderful thing is that when we move again I won't have to say Goodbye to any of you. Goodbye is the hardest part of being a military family.

My blog is rioting. First Mr. Linky stood me up for Two Cents Tuesday. He's back now. Feel free to still drop your two cents in a post and link up. I am also having a hard time visiting my favorite blogs. Hmmmmmm

Did you know you can order a box of crumbs from Long John Silver's and they will scoop those tasty crispy balls of fried goodness up for you for FREE? Can you believe it?

Human Pacifier,Your Two Cents

2009-05-05T02:00:00.000-07:00

It's time for your two cents. Two Cents is always free, fun and the first Tuesday of every month.

When I first stared blogging nursing my youngest was on the way out and I was sad that she was growing so quickly. Then somewhere between then and now all her signs of self weaning disappeared and that tender bonding feeling become replaced with "Are you done yet?".
Now I find myself caught between my hippy tendency to believe that all things end in their own time and my ever growing disenchantment with nursing a child old enough to unfasten my buttons. I am also feeling guilty for that uncontrollable facial twitch I used to have when any mother mentioned nursing past two. My youngest princess is always shattering my preconceived notions of good parenting. My first child weaned herself and I was delusional enough in my new mommy high to think it was a reflection of my superior mothering skills. I am learning that most of the things I took credit for were just beginners luck.
A survey I saw (sorry I don't remember where) showed an overwhelming percentage of people thought nursing past one year was "creepy". Just months ago I would have agreed. Now I'm thinking "Cut us some slack here people, pretty please".
Please share Your Two Cents or ask for some in the comment box or link up below. Thanks for playing along. Two Cents is your time to give YOUR two cents so be free, be opinionated and play nice.

(Mr. Linky is being tempermental....hmmmm. Mr. Linky Where are you?)

NOT ME!!!

2009-05-04T03:02:00.001-07:00

On the way to the movies I did NOT notice my hairy knee peaking out from under my capris. Nope not me. I shave my ENTIRE leg, always. I was NOT thrilled that Wolverine spent most of the movie nearly naked. That man is a complete waste of shirt. I did not curse the kind characters who offer him clothes. Can't he eat naked? I just find it frustrating when non essentials (like clothes) mess with a great plot. I am not still 100% hot for my own clawless husband. Who still has a crush on their husband? It just isn't natural. I can't have him thinking that weeks of him being afflicted with asscitis can be kissed away. If he knows that I still melt like butter when he wraps his arm around my waist, pulls me close and smells my hair he would be impossible to live with. So I do not melt like butter EVER. I also do NOT adore the shirt he got me from "Xavier's School of the Gifted". I read things of substance and never ever fall for comic books or watch old episodes of She-Ra. I am too busy reading Milton and pondering the mysteries of the universe to be hooked on frivolous entertainment and a nearly naked Hugh Jackman. Who needs Hugh when you have Milton. See?

Poor Hugh never stood a chance against Milton. Is Milton a touch sexy or is it just me?

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

TWO CENTS TUESDAY POSTING SOON!! Do you have your Two Cents ready? Give it or get on the first Tuesday of every month on..well...anything! I hope you all stop by later tonight and link up. Hugs, Jen

My Forward Policy

2009-04-29T09:10:00.000-07:00

Forward Guidelines:

1. Forwards must be personal and sent because they reminded you of me and NOT me and the 1,000 other people in your address book that got crammed together.

2. You MUST fact check. Please don't send me emails intended to strike fear in the hearts of all that are not even true.

3. Do not send me anything that threatens death or bad luck for myself or the ones I love. True friends don't hex each other. If you feel compelled to send these things reserve them for enemies or just delete that part of the forward. Stop the madness!

4. Don't tell me to forward "if I believe in God" or insinuate that my faith is determined in anyway by my willingness to mass forward.

5. Don't send me any emails targeting a group of people. I will not send ANYTHING that has an undercurrent of grab your pitchfork and light the fire.

Bonus: If you MUST forward me something then a little personal note is fabulous...such as, "Hey Jen! I know you dig Wolverine. Doesn't Hugh Jackman look fabulous half naked?" Just a little something to show you really know me.

You have three chances to get it right. After that you get kicked to my S P A M box and must resort to good old fashion letters or a telephone to reach me.

Visit We Are That Family for Works for Me tips and advice.

The Funk

2009-04-26T23:24:00.000-07:00

I have the funk. Swine flu? Strep? Depression? No. It is just "The Funk". Funk is highly contagious. Funk can be debilitating and physically draining. After two weeks of vacation time I SHOULD be funk free.

Hubby swears he can cure the funk in fifteen minutes or less. THAT does not cure the funk. Laundry and dishes aggravate the funk. I doubt he was offering to clean the house in fifteen minutes or less. A clean house will not even cure the funk. Neither will waking up with my body in all it's former glory. My butt should still travel while I'm asleep from my ankles back to it's perky home of origin. Isn't it bad enough that I am a chronic funk sufferer. Shouldn't I, at the very least, be a chronic funk sufferer with a perky butt?

I am going to start blog hopping to cure the funk. There is nothing like being post slapped to knock me out of the funk. I already got blog smacked by one amazing bloggy friend before I even finished whining about my funk.

Leave it to the witty and wise Rambler to write a tender post that smacks me into the reality that there are more important things than the jiggle in my wiggle and the dirty laundry in my basket. Pop over, visit a while and don't miss her A Thousand Words Thursday-Beyond Words post. Sending love, hugs and prayers to all the parents that are fighting for and with their children.

I wasn't eaten by sharks

2009-04-24T13:06:00.001-07:00

I just soaked up family time, sunshine and fatty foods. My family visits only once a year so we tried to make the most of our time together. The bad news is I did not even swim with the sharks, let alone get eaten. My amazing and adventurous plans were replaced with beach walks, naps, early nights and long breakfasts made by my mother. By the time we all got caught up the vacation was over and there was no room in our life for sharks. Now I am back and operating at a full 12%. The babies are sick and I'm doing my own laundry and cooking my own breakfast. Sniff. Sniff. I miss my mommy!!! I spent so many years wanting to grow up. Now I know that sometimes being a "big girl" isn't all it's cracked up to be. Hubby is humoring me and being extra sweet. He even cooked me "take out" and gave me a piggy back ride to help with the transition back into my grown up life. I've missed you! Hugs, Jen

Here is a vacation highlight from our Easter "Mermaid Egg" hunt. My fearful mom picked up the urchin to show my princess there was nothing to be afraid of. What won't a grandma do for her princess?

Dear Bloggy Friends,

2009-04-15T00:32:00.001-07:00

I'm taking a little vacation and soaking up as much "ME ME ME" time as I can fit into one week. I will be back massaged, pampered, relaxed and inspired unless I get eaten by sharks. If you don't hear from me in a week or so check your news for, "MOTHER OF TWO DROWNS IN SHARK CAGE". It's the snorkel that will be my demise, not the rows of razor sharp teeth.

If you 're looking for fun new bloggy friends while I am away you should visit some of my very favorite bloggy buddies:

theArthurClan (Photo Tips)

Krystyn (Blog Design)

Kathy (Sweet Inspiration)

Midlife, menopause, mistakes and random stuff... (Comment Love)

TATTOOED MINIVAN MOM (funny stories & naughty words. See post below for more details! ;) )
Mama Kat's (Post Inspiration)
Idabel (Random laughs, a touch of naughty & a splash of serious)

I have met some amazing women here in blogland. I could devote hundreds of posts bragging about their generosity. These ladies are loose with the smiles and give away kind words for free. They have never let me down. They are just a handful of the wonderful ladies that have shown me that kindness and help is only a comment section away.

HUGS, Jen